Hitler's Post-Indictment Staff Meeting
240 views4/6/2023
Dear Furher was just indicted, and he's handling it about as well as you would expect. But when he finds out that Mike Pence has just agreed to testify before the D.C. grand jury, hilarity ensues.
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▸Show captions (49)
| 00:00 - 00:03 | Fox News is back on the Trump Train. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Even the ball tanning guy. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | But the lawyers are nervous. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Bragg's case looks weak, but there's still Georgia. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | And Jack Smith thinks he's Joe Frazier or a T-1000. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Fulton's a shithole county surrounded by hillbillies. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | And Smith can't hurt us if Pence stays mute. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Dear Orange Overlord |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Pence... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Pence just agreed to testify before the D.C. grand jury. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | He could have appealed the court order to testify, but chose not to. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone but Jason Miller, Boris Epshteyn, and Joe Tapioca, please get out. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | That goody two shoes loser! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Why didn't those inbred monkeys hang him when they had a chance? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I served up Mr. Helmet-Head-With-A-Fly-On-Top on a platter for those goons! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Did Mother put him up to this? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Or did the Lincoln Project get to him? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | For the love of Kentucky Fried Chicken... |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Even my family is bailing on me. |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Other than Beavis & Butthead, only Tabitha is still loyal. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My Sweet Prince of Darkness, her name is Tiffany. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Whatever! Her and Barney barely count anyway! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My Shiva, Destroyer of Norms and Deceny... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Enough with the flattery! If I wanted a hummer I'd call Kevin McCarthy! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Pence! And Evan Corcoran! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | These fuckers know WAY too much to be singing. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | And Allen Weiselberg is getting sprung from Rikers? |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Why? So my bean counter can corroborate Stormy and Cohen? |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Jews know money, so the jury will believe him. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | And "Raffensperger" sounds Jewish, but maybe that'll hurt him with a Georgia jury. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | For fuck sake, how did you people get me into this? |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | It's so unfair! Why does the law keep coming after me? |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | What could possibly explain it, other than the Deep State? |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I act all tough for the cameras, except for that photo shoot with the eagle. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | But the Dems smell blood in the water, so I can't crime anymore. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Life's not worth living without the criming. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Even Mussolini, that useless Guido, he knew that as well as I do! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | And he ended up hanging by his feet in a public square. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | But I weigh too much for that. My ankles would snap right off. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | You'd think that Jordan and Comey would be better at running interference. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Why the fuck isn't Hunter Biden's hard drive all over the internet by now? |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay. I hear Newsmax is hiring. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Maybe this is it. I hope my niece Mary is happy. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | She's always resented me wanting to bang Ivanka but not her. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Well, time to face the music. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Get Stephen Miller on the phone. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | If I'm going down, I want that bald, ugly little fuck by my side. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | He's even more of a Nazi than I am. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Tell him to bring some pussy and a Glock. |