| 00:00 - 00:03 | Mein Führer, we’ve just received word, |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | The firefighters |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Intend to take industrial action. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | they say they will stop wearing their uniforms, |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and begin to wear red T shirts again. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | they wouldn’t dare |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | they have no mandate. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Führer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | the vote |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | was 99% in favour. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | And they have aligned with the nurses. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | All members of the FENZ negotiation committee stay, the rest leave. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | It’s been 2 years |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | since they’ve had a pay rise |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | and you offer them 1% PA over 5 years?! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Even Judith Collins |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Isn’t THAT cruel! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | And she’d put a Box Jellyfish in a |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | children’s swimming pool! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But, mein Führer… |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Did you at least offer them backpay? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | The minister, Brooke Van Velden… |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Oh, speaking of evil… |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Forbade it, did she?! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | YOU FUCK’N IMBECILE!! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Don’t you realise they’re the country’s |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | most trusted profession?! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | The last time this happened, |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | the entire country sold out of chalk pens! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | That fuck’n bunch of school children |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | were driving around with pictures of ostriches on their trucks! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | It’s only a matter of time before someone |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | puts a satirical video of me |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | up on social media. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Jesus Christ. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | The last time this happened, |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | someone call-forwarded the fire station phone numbers |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | to National Headquarters! |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | I got so many phone calls, I had to |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | hire another Deputy National Commander |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don’t worry, we’ve disconnected the landline… |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Our fleet is in tatters, |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | we’ve walked away from recruiting more staff |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | And our fire stations |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Are closing faster |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | than an Indian takeaway after a health inspection. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Still, on the bright side, |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | at least they’re not spamming us by email. |
