| 00:00 - 00:05 | Get a load of this, you’ll never believe it! |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | The Mormon church has convinced Morehouse, a traditionally black university |
| 00:07 - 00:10 | To give Russell Nelson an award. |
| 00:11 - 00:14 | But not just any award, get this... |
| 00:16 - 00:21 | It's for "his global efforts in abandoning attitudes and actions of prejudice!!" |
| 00:21 - 00:24 | Nelson! |
| 00:29 - 00:31 | Nelson! |
| 00:31 - 00:35 | That SOB was 54 before the church even allowed black people in the temple! |
| 00:38 - 00:40 | He never said a word to try to change it sooner! |
| 00:41 - 00:47 | During his heyday the church did all kinds of racist things. You wouldn't believe what they did! |
| 00:47 - 00:50 | They claimed black people are cursed because they were less valiant in heaven! |
| 00:50 - 00:56 | They started a hospital so they'd never risk receiving blood from black people! |
| 00:58 - 00:59 | "Not one drop" They said!! |
| 00:59 - 01:01 | "Not one single drop!" |
| 01:04 - 01:06 | They named their school after a slave owner |
| 01:06 - 01:10 | Who said inter-racial marriage is punishable by death! |
| 01:13 - 01:14 | They claimed the civil rights movement |
| 01:14 - 01:16 | was a communist plot. |
| 01:16 - 01:20 | The communists! |
| 01:21 - 01:27 | If you look at their leadership roster, it's a sea of white guys. White as far as you can see! |
| 01:35 - 01:36 | White guys everywhere! |
| 01:36 - 01:39 | They bring in a black guy for photo shoots now and again, but that's it. |
| 01:41 - 01:44 | So now, now they realize they have a problem, right? |
| 01:44 - 01:47 | "For some reason people get the idea we're racist!" |
| 01:47 - 01:49 | "What can we do about that?" |
| 01:50 - 01:53 | So they weigh their options... |
| 01:54 - 01:57 | We could renounce our racist doctrines... OR |
| 01:58 - 02:01 | We could cut a check. |
| 02:02 - 02:04 | Would $10 million to the NAACP be enough? |
| 02:05 - 02:07 | So they cut the check |
| 02:10 - 02:11 | And it worked! |
| 02:11 - 02:14 | Russell got his picture with some black men, and it was in the newspaper! |
| 02:15 - 02:17 | And they thought golly... |
| 02:17 - 02:20 | What's another well-known black institution we could "partner" with? |
| 02:21 - 02:27 | So they went to Morehouse and offered to make a donation, and showed them a check. |
| 02:28 - 02:31 | And said, we just ask one little favor |
| 02:32 - 02:34 | And Morehouse looked at the check |
| 02:36 - 02:39 | And said "What can we do?" |
| 02:40 - 02:44 | And the church said, how about an award for our leader? |
| 02:50 - 02:56 | Something that doesn't sound made up... maybe the Ghandi-King-Mandela Peace Prize? |
| 02:56 - 02:58 | And Morehouse threw up a little |
| 02:58 - 03:04 | And conferred internally, and decided |
| 03:04 - 03:09 | Maybe if we don't say anything or make any announcement, nobody will notice |
| 03:09 - 03:14 | So they took the check and agreed, but didn't tell anyone |
| 03:16 - 03:20 | And they made the church make the announcement themself |
| 03:23 - 03:28 | Because they were too ashamed of what they did |
| 03:31 - 03:36 | And they really hope Spike Lee and Samuel L Jackson never find out! |
