Starvault's Downfall
114 views1/26/2023
The launch of Mortal Online 2 was a failure like an mmorpg has never seen before.
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| 00:00 - 00:03 | Launch day is finally here |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Thousands are logging into Haven. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | The fake trailer did its work well. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Despite this success, the Discord mods have silenced chat. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Users there are calling you a scammer. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Why would they say this? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | The game is working as intended. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Henrik... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | The servers... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | The servers are over capacity. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Despite there being only 1,200 players on Myrland. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone but FarmerJoe, Robmo, LGM, and random asset merchant, please leave the room. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | This is the SAME shit that happened last time! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I promised these rubes the servers could hold infinite players! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I know we're winging it here, but fuck! 1,200? Fuck! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Everyone in the industry will think us incompetent. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | It's those youtuber's faults for spotlighting us. |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | And we're going into the weekend. No fixes. |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Not that we could fix it anyways. |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | We'll be back to penny stock status in days. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | They are saying we're mining bitcoin on the queue |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Why the FUCK would I need to do that? I already got their money. |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But Henrik, the queue is taking days. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | My vision warrants the wait. Fuck the haters! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Send in Robmo! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Fill the Discord with hopium |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | If they stay in queue for more than two hours |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Steam won't give them a refund anymore. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | FarmerJoe, post something so they believe you're trying to fix it. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Robmo, tell everyone you're trying to get in too. Convince them to stay in the queue! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | No refunds, or the vision is doomed. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | If the queue kills their graphics card, I don't give a SHIT |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Fuck me, why is this happening again? |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | How was I supposed to know people would buy this pile of shit? |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | The entire premise is based on a lie! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | It's the player's fault. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | They should have known from our track record that we couldn't pull this off! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | At least if they can't log in they won't die from speed hackers! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Or the rampant exploits! |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | And the dupes, don't get me started on those! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Within weeks, millions of gold will be duped! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay Milhouse, Henrik's vision will be realized soon. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Many players will quit soon. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Maybe then the game will work, and we can pretend we fixed the server capacity. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | But what about Epic? |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | They aren't cuckolds like Steam. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | If this happens during Epic launch, they'll remove us from the platform. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | We'd better prepare alternate servers. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | At least then the idiots can login. |