| 00:00 - 00:03 | Mein Director |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | These are the most prestigious ski schools in the world |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | With the most expert and skilled instructors |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | St. Moritz, Lech, St. Anton |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Gstaad, Zermatt, Kitzbuhel |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | How do we compare |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | to these programs? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Program Director Duane |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | We... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Suck...We are pretty much the worst |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Most people want their money back |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Larry, Moe, Curley...You are my most trusted advisors |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | You told me that it would be fine |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | to hire those Jamaicans |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | You said no one would notice that they couldn't ski |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | They don't even fucking like the cold |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Don't worry. You're not Jamaican |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | You said I didn't have to know anything about ski racing |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | to run an alpine race program |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | I barely know how to ski |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | I told you many times to stay off the mountain |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I try to stay still so nobody sees me |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But you keep falling |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | So I try to hide in my office |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | But people keep contacting me |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Asking questions |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | that I don't have answers to |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | I don't even understand the questions |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Pretty soon that Edry will be back |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | That's all I need |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | And worst of all, |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | I think he actually liked the Masters |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | 60 year old men in tights... |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Do you see me running around in a Captain America suit? |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | No. I stay in my office and don't talk to anyone |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I do what I want to |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | And nobody tells me what to do |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | And that's what I've done at all of the 17 ski schools I've directed |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Somebody must've like that
|
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Or they wouldn't keep transferring me to new Ski Schools every year |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | to teach them everything I know |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry. Mein Duane is coming up with fabulous new programs |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | What if we have a coin operated race course? |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | On Duck Soup. We could charge $10 a run. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | 13 gates |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Fastest run wins 15% discount for ski school |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | We'll still charge $3000 for the program |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | But no Fridays |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | It will be a Boutique Program |
