| 00:00 - 00:03 | The racing calendar has been stripped right back |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | You can forget London Marathon |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | There's no Mob Match |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Seaman has pulled the plug on the Evening League |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | And there'll be no getting pissed up at the Bed Race |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Guy Fawkes will still go ahead |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | They'll have the virus back under control by then |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Race Director |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Lockdown |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Lockdown will still be in place for months |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | We don't stand a bastarding chance |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Get out, all of you, except Jones, Dalton, and Chalmers |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the hell are we meant to do now? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I've had it up to here with excel spreadsheets |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | 127 pissing risk assessments and none of them mentioned this |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | It's not like dealing with the council was ever easy |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | And don't even mention the police |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I'll end up with 1000 tee shirts I cannot shift |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Did you see the tee shirts last year? |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | They were pink! Christ almighty! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Race Director, I thought the tee shirts were fabulous |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | They were a joke! We were a laughing stock! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Race Director, Knaresbough Striders loved them |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I don't give a toss what the crag rats think! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I don't want to hear it |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | And where will I find enough chocolate? |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Sainsburys have put restrictions on panic buying |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | And you have to queue for three hours to get into pissing ASDA |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | It's not like we'll be getting any freebies from Yorkshire Tea |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | We'll be handing out empty carrier bags to the finishers at this rate |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Up & Running will want nothing to do with us |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | We'll have a bill for £1200 for the portaloos but can I get bog roll? |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Can I bollocks |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | They'll be wiping their areas on their race numbers at this rate |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | For fucks sake |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | This is going to bankrupt us |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | We normally make a three grand profit |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | We bloody need it, too, at the rate the committee spend it |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Coaching courses, bus trips, free pizza |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Sylvia spending money like it's going out of fashion |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Dilasser even wants female-fit tee shirts |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | He doesn't mean it, he loved your idea really |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I'm being hounded on Facebook |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Everyone wanting to know when the race will open |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I don't get any peace |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Benson wants to know if he can drive the van |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | The Ventresses will want the same spot to grill their sausages |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | And what dozy twat told Brian he could direct traffic? |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | We're finished, lads. Finished |
