00:00 - 00:03 | Where is the subject matter expert? |
00:04 - 00:05 | Here are the FSDs |
00:05 - 00:07 | This is when it should have been ready |
00:08 - 00:12 | As you can see, this had no basis in reality |
00:12 - 00:15 | And based on the limits of time space, this is where we are now... |
00:17 - 00:19 | It looks like you weren't using SAFE Agile |
00:19 - 00:21 | And far too few meetings. Double the resources. |
00:24 - 00:26 | I'm afraid that won't help |
00:27 - 00:28 | The time machine... |
00:31 - 00:33 | The time machine was not completed |
00:34 - 00:36 | We think it may not be possible to construct |
00:53 - 00:58 | I want to see the velocity, burndown, backlog and resource reports |
01:13 - 01:15 | This is unacceptable!!! |
01:15 - 01:17 | Totally unacceptable! |
01:18 - 01:23 | The entire team can't manage a simple project? |
01:25 - 01:28 | What the fuck have you been doing? |
01:29 - 01:31 | Does nobody understand Agile?!! |
01:31 - 01:34 | I will outsource all of you to offshore teams! |
01:34 - 01:37 | I gave you SAFE agile and you can't even follow the process! |
01:37 - 01:40 | Nothing I asked for is delivered! |
01:40 - 01:42 | 99.9% of the acceptance criteria are satisfied |
01:42 - 01:46 | Did I ask for 99.9%? 100%, 100% or higher! |
01:46 - 01:48 | It is not possible to go over 100% |
01:48 - 01:52 | Think outside the box you idiot! |
01:53 - 01:54 | Outside of it! |