| 00:00 - 00:03 | The Final Four is in Minneapolis |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | It will be cold |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Travel difficult |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | But I know you love March Madness |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | So we can get you there |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Yes, I love those Dukies |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Especially with Zion |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Fuhrer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Zion |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Zion and Duke lost to Michigan State |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | There will be no Zion in the Final Four |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | All you sheep who picked Duke to win it all. Vitale. Bilas. Leave now. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | I knew it! They Fucked it up again! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Coach K can't deal with superstar freshman! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | He needs pricks whom everyone hates, like that Laettner ass! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | And now there's no Zion |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Who can I root for now? Jack White? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | That kid couldn't play at Wake freaking Forest |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | And next year we have to play those damn kids from UVa |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Who play like a team, and pass the ball unselfishly |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | UVa cannot recruit stars like Coach K |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | But those "stars" aren't in the Final 4! Virginia is! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Coach K will re-load, with Nike's help |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | "Re-load." While Zion goes off to the Knicks |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | The Knicks will waste him, too! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | UVa didn't even need Zion. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | The top 3 recruits in the country... for this? |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Not even cheating Calipari has done that! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Coack K couldn't teach RJ Barrett how to pass the ball? Even once? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | You've got generational talent in Zion, and don't use him in the final minute of the Elite 8? |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Even Pete Gillen knows that's stupid! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | The refs were on our side against UCF and Virginia Tech. They did their part. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | But RJ Barrett wants to be on SportsCenter?! |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Coack K never showed him the stats. I shoot the ball better than Barrett . |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Even the Cameron nerds know that! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | We must begin to accept it. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | UVa is going to be the dominant team in the ACC for years to come. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | As long as Tony Bennett is there. Teaching Pack-Line defense, recruiting solid kids. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Doing it "the right way." |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Coach K must retire now, to avoid the humiliation. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | We always thought it would be one of the hotshots, like Shaka Smart |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry. Jeff Capel is available. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | We must accept it. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Coach K is over the hill. Duke will return to irrelevance. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | No more Final 4s. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | That's Virginia territory now. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | My system -- recruit one-and-dones, then just let them pretend it's the NBA ... |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | ... doesn't work in March anymore. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Bennett's system is winning. |
