| 00:00 - 00:03 | We've convinced Gichuhi to join the Liberal Party, |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | We've steadied our numbers in the Senate. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Your government is looking better. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Now we just have to work in the House of Reps |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | And soften up the the rabble sitting on the crossbench. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Great - now we'll see what Barnaby |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | and the Nationals are doing. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mr Turnbull... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Barnaby... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Barnaby knocked up one of his staffers. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | It's been going on for months. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone get out out - except Pyne, ScoMo, Dutton and Cormann...... |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | That bloody ROOT RAT! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | A Deputy Prime Ministerial ROOT RAT! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | How can he knock someone up with my government hanging on by a THREAD?! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | And right after the same sex plebiscite |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Where he lectured others on morality |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Yet he swapped that playbook with the Karma Sutra! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | There he was threatening to shoot Pistol and Boo |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | if only he was SHOOTING BLOODY BLANKS! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Mr Turnbull, it was an open secret throughout Canberra |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Well that's not the only thing THAT WAS $%#&! OPEN! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mr Turnbull, he won New England. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Well whoop-de-bloody-do, you idiot... |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | They're all SHEEPSHAGGERS |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | I remember the old days... |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | when a National Party crisis was when one of them was found with a goat |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | dressed is SUSPENDERS AND A BRA! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | And now the whole country knows about this... |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | And now I'm going to lose my 27th consecutive Newspoll |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | And Abbott will laugh his bloody Speedos off |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | This is a whole lot worse than the republican push and Utegate! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I have to think this one through - |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | We'll give her a job... a job with the Facebook and the Twitter |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | In Matt Canavan's office. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Tax free. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Here we are lecturing the public all about border security and he couldn't keep it in his pants... |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | We should have deported him to New Zealand when we had the chance... |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | This would have made up for "Underarm" |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Their cartoonists would have had a field day. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | He would've been bigger than FOOTROT FLATS!! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's OK, Barnaby still loves you too |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Now we better do some damage control |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | We deflect everything by announcing more frigates |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | and subs... |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | a coal fired power station. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | And we have a new rule that no member shall knock off a staffer without my express permission |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Except Pyne - he's a bit sus... |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Politics is f*cked! |
