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The Brands Are Coming
Hitler receives word of the reunion

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00:00 - 00:03...and the forecast is sunny with a 20% chance of bombs
00:04 - 00:05Starbucks is short on milk again
00:05 - 00:07but we'll steal another cow from Goering
00:08 - 00:12Bed, Bath & Beyond is having a sale on your favorite Aromatherapy candles
00:12 - 00:15at their new location at Himmler’s Dreamland
00:17 - 00:19Finally...
00:19 - 00:21Everything is going smoothly for once
00:24 - 00:26My Fuhrer...
00:27 - 00:28The Brands...
00:31 - 00:33The Brands are gathering for another reunion
00:34 - 00:36We just received word today
00:53 - 00:58These will stay: Keitel, Jodl, Kripps, and Burgdoff
01:13 - 01:15This thing cannot be!
01:15 - 01:17Those Brands are a plague!
01:18 - 01:23Their fireworks, and their noise and their stupid jokes
01:25 - 01:28That’s why I built this bunker!
01:29 - 01:31Their last Fourth of July -
01:31 - 01:34It was so noisy it scared off the S.S.!
01:34 - 01:37I lost two night fighters that flew too close to their lawn
01:37 - 01:40I bombed them in retaliation and no one even noticed!
01:40 - 01:42My Fuhrer - surely fire engines will be standing by...
01:42 - 01:46What good are fire engines with these maniacs?
01:46 - 01:48My Fuhrer - even if they start fires, I’m sure...
01:48 - 01:52They might as well pee on their fires for all the good it will do!
01:53 - 01:54We're all hosed!
01:56 - 01:57These people are demented - when they
01:57 - 02:00hear explosions they CHEER instead of running to bomb shelters!
02:00 - 02:03I wish I could invite them over for a shower!
02:04 - 02:08How do you scare people who are more dangerous than we are?
02:08 - 02:13They are all fire-crazed maniacs! If only my Eastern armies had
02:14 - 02:16half the munitions they waste in a single night
02:17 - 02:21I would be dining in Moscow tonight instead of that jerk Stalin!
02:27 - 02:29And what if they go back on the water?
02:30 - 02:34They'll be lost - lost and helpless again!
02:34 - 02:36Who gets lost on a river?
02:41 - 02:42These people...
02:43 - 02:47I'm amazed they can find their way out of the bathtub without a compass!
02:48 - 02:53The last time they finally found their way off that blasted river
02:54 - 02:56they looked like barefoot refugees
02:56 - 02:59streaming out of the ghettos of Warsaw
03:00 - 03:02after my Luftwaffe paid it a visit!
03:04 - 03:07It's okay - there's no water in Helena
03:14 - 03:16Perhaps this is the end after all
03:19 - 03:23I can wipe out whole races, but can’t keep these Brands apart
03:25 - 03:26It’s finished
03:31 - 03:33The reunion will go on
03:40 - 03:46Our Thousand-Year Reich will only work if we’re the craziest group of Germans out there
03:46 - 03:49But these Brands make us look like choir boys
03:53 - 03:56I really need a beer