00:00 - 00:03It will be Senior Day in South Bend, with McGaffigan looking to take the courts by storm
00:04 - 00:05She has been conditioning non-stop for this day.
00:05 - 00:07She likes to place drop shots here and here
00:08 - 00:12And Line Judge Moses is always on her side for her close shots
00:12 - 00:15Her teammates are equally fearsome, known to ingest the hearts of small mammals before first service
00:17 - 00:19No matter, the ND Women's tennis team will have no fan support.
00:19 - 00:21No matter, the ND Women's tennis team will have no fan support.
00:24 - 00:26Coach...
00:27 - 00:28The Ra...
00:31 - 00:33The Racqueteers will be present.
00:34 - 00:36Their poet drafts the Facebook event as we speak.
00:53 - 00:58If you have ever considered any sport more important than women's tennis, get out.
01:13 - 01:15THE RACQUETEERS!!
01:15 - 01:17A damn student section at the match!
01:18 - 01:23I knew Louderback was up to something in South Bend!
01:25 - 01:28Every week teams go to the Eck and return minus
01:29 - 01:31their ballboy, probably banished to Zahm's basement!
01:31 - 01:34And McGaffigan! Who ever knew angels played tennis!
01:34 - 01:37She and Kilner lay waste to anyone brave enough to hit a ball in their area code.
01:37 - 01:40Sheep asking to be led to the slaughter
01:40 - 01:42Coach LTW, we believe our slice will be an effective counter
01:42 - 01:46Slice? That's if Chrissie doesn't slice you down first!
01:46 - 01:48Yes I have reviewed the tape and
01:48 - 01:52Bullshit! She moves too fast for a mere camera to catch her graceful movements!
01:53 - 01:54Like Katherine's serve! We can't touch it!
01:56 - 01:57That cannon is protected by the second amendment!!
01:57 - 02:00Britney and J-Sabs are an even better pair than cookies and milk
02:00 - 02:03No one can stop their parabolic lobs and piercing winners!
02:04 - 02:08They have a coop in the back for all the chicken dinners they get from winners
02:08 - 02:13"Winner, winner, chicken dinner!"
02:14 - 02:16Our players will have their minds blown from the lyrical genius of the Cat in the Hat
02:17 - 02:21They're going to WIN, especially with QUINN!
02:27 - 02:29And Julie VRABEL, she is more than ABLE.
02:30 - 02:34Darby MOUNTFORD, doesn't need the LORD.
02:34 - 02:36JOHANA makes me BANANAS.
02:41 - 02:47Dammit... Dammit! I'm rhyming too! Curse my three first names!
02:48 - 02:53Why couldn't I have been named something badass like Louderback or Flores?
02:54 - 02:56Those very names strike fear deep in my heart.
02:56 - 02:59We're going to be slaughtered! Totally dismembered!
03:00 - 03:02They will dismantle us piece by piece!
03:04 - 03:07Don't worry, I'm sure your match will be over quick. 0-6, 0-6.
03:14 - 03:16Do you know what the worst part is?
03:19 - 03:23There's not going to be any fro-yo for us to drown our sorrows in.
03:25 - 03:26Lord that stuff is delicious.
03:31 - 03:33Maybe Molly O will be kind enough to serve us some
03:40 - 03:46She is the sweetest thing when she's not ripping us apart at the net.
03:46 - 03:49They'll win, as sure as Max being drunk at the match
03:53 - 03:56Damn Max is hot.