| 00:00 - 00:03 | Mein Fuhrer |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | We have news of a mob of English morris dancers |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Heading tfor Berlin |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | They will be here by nightfall without fail |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | They have clogs and sashes and sticks and a hobby horse. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Can we not turn them back? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Get rid of the fuckers |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | They are invited |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | They were invited here |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | By the Berlin Bratwurst Oompah Band |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | They invited morris dancers? I fucking hate morris dancers |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Sticks and clogs and all that fucking jumping |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Bowler hats with fucking plastic flowers stuck on them |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | And fucking bells tied to their fucking knees |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | And concer-fucking-tinas |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I fucking hate concertinas |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | The Berlin Bratwurst Oompah band! Bastards. |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Stupid fuckers in leather knickers - they invited them? |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Send the fuckers back |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Mein Fuhrer there will be trouble with the morris ring |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Who the fuck is Morris Ring? I'll have him shot! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | We will lose our folk dancing licence |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Ask me how many fucks I give |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I hate these buggers |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | The last time they drank all our beer |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | And stayed up all fucking night drinking my single malt |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | And singing songs about milkmaids And drowned fucking sailors |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | And don't tell me there's fucking melodions? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Not bastard fucking meoldions? |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | And not some twat on the banjo as well! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And no phonofiddles - anything but a phono fucking fiddle |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Cotswold fucking morris - fucking Lancashire clog |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | And don't tell me there's longsword as well? |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Fuck my old boots |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I warned you... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Any more morris sides here and you would be shot |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Know why I hate them? Every fucking year, without fail |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | My stupid mother and father took me |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | To fucking Sidmouth |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | And fucking Towersey and fucking Whitby |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't let him see your leather tankard Doris |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Yyou couldn't move for bastard Morris men |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | And once I got lost and was surrounded |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | By big daft beardy blokes |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | With beer bellies and bells and fucking clogs |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | There was no escape - fucking melodions and bells and banjos everywhere |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | And now they're coming here - to my fucking bunker |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Hide the good whisky |
