00:00 - 00:03 Mein Fuhrer
00:04 - 00:05We have news of a mob of English morris dancers
00:05 - 00:07Heading tfor Berlin
00:08 - 00:12They will be here by nightfall without fail
00:12 - 00:15They have clogs and sashes and sticks and a hobby horse.
00:17 - 00:19Can we not turn them back?
00:19 - 00:21Get rid of the fuckers
00:24 - 00:26Mein Fuhrer
00:27 - 00:28They are invited
00:31 - 00:33They were invited here
00:34 - 00:36By the Berlin Bratwurst Oompah Band
00:53 - 00:58They invited morris dancers? I fucking hate morris dancers
01:13 - 01:15Sticks and clogs and all that fucking jumping
01:15 - 01:17Bowler hats with fucking plastic flowers stuck on them
01:18 - 01:23And fucking bells tied to their fucking knees
01:25 - 01:28And concer-fucking-tinas
01:29 - 01:31I fucking hate concertinas
01:31 - 01:34The Berlin Bratwurst Oompah band! Bastards.
01:34 - 01:37Stupid fuckers in leather knickers - they invited them?
01:37 - 01:40Send the fuckers back
01:40 - 01:42Mein Fuhrer there will be trouble with the morris ring
01:42 - 01:46Who the fuck is Morris Ring? I'll have him shot!
01:46 - 01:48We will lose our folk dancing licence
01:48 - 01:52Ask me how many fucks I give
01:53 - 01:54I hate these buggers
01:56 - 01:57The last time they drank all our beer
01:57 - 02:00And stayed up all fucking night drinking my single malt
02:00 - 02:03And singing songs about milkmaids And drowned fucking sailors
02:04 - 02:08And don't tell me there's fucking melodions?
02:08 - 02:13Not bastard fucking meoldions?
02:14 - 02:16And not some twat on the banjo as well!
02:17 - 02:21And no phonofiddles - anything but a phono fucking fiddle
02:27 - 02:29Cotswold fucking morris - fucking Lancashire clog
02:30 - 02:34And don't tell me there's longsword as well?
02:34 - 02:36Fuck my old boots
02:41 - 02:42I warned you...
02:43 - 02:47Any more morris sides here and you would be shot
02:48 - 02:53Know why I hate them? Every fucking year, without fail
02:54 - 02:56My stupid mother and father took me
02:56 - 02:59To fucking Sidmouth
03:00 - 03:02And fucking Towersey and fucking Whitby
03:04 - 03:07Don't let him see your leather tankard Doris
03:14 - 03:16Yyou couldn't move for bastard Morris men
03:19 - 03:23And once I got lost and was surrounded
03:25 - 03:26By big daft beardy blokes
03:31 - 03:33With beer bellies and bells and fucking clogs
03:40 - 03:46There was no escape - fucking melodions and bells and banjos everywhere
03:46 - 03:49And now they're coming here - to my fucking bunker
03:53 - 03:56Hide the good whisky