00:00 - 00:03And we're going to close London Road
00:04 - 00:05to put in some services to a new housing
00:05 - 00:07development here.
00:08 - 00:12As you can see it's full of prats
00:12 - 00:15and there's a railway crossing there.
00:17 - 00:19It looks a lovely road
00:19 - 00:21the main one don't you say?
00:24 - 00:26Sir
00:27 - 00:28A shithead
00:31 - 00:33A shithead called Alan has been
00:34 - 00:36moaning on Facebook
00:53 - 00:58Rest of you go I want to speak to the admins
01:13 - 01:15Not that moaning wanker again on Facebook
01:15 - 01:17I want to just hear Jade talk about her sex life
01:18 - 01:23And Paul's memes he's nicked
01:25 - 01:28off some group he belongs to.
01:29 - 01:31Don't forget Geoff singing on a Friday
01:31 - 01:34and that twat is cluttering up my timeline.
01:34 - 01:37Drive those fucking motorbikes of yours past
01:37 - 01:40his house and ride on the pavement.
01:40 - 01:42Sir, but he'll review you online and.....
01:42 - 01:46I don't give a shit
01:46 - 01:48you want to see what he wrote about the bloke who did his gates.
01:48 - 01:52I don't give a shit I am not a delivery driver
01:53 - 01:54I don't care just every day there's that
01:56 - 01:57bloody Victor Meldrew moaning on and on
01:57 - 02:00and all I want to see are pics of that bloke on
02:00 - 02:03roller skates in the Vape shop, with the trouser stain.
02:04 - 02:08This is what I want!
02:08 - 02:13Can't the admins just filter him?
02:14 - 02:16I mean he goes on and on and on
02:17 - 02:21Who is he? Is he real?
02:27 - 02:29There's no real substance to what he says.
02:30 - 02:34He could be that Robinson woman who loves
02:34 - 02:36the planters so much - or one of their friends
02:41 - 02:42like that Dave "Harrington" who hides
02:43 - 02:47behind a fake profile spouting more
02:48 - 02:53shit to the town. As for Alan
02:54 - 02:56Next he'll be moaning he's been swimming at
02:56 - 02:59the Lido and the waters cold and the weathers crap
03:00 - 03:02 Moan, moan, bloody moan.
03:04 - 03:07Don't worry they'll be a picture of Elfrede litter picking soon.
03:14 - 03:16The town is not what it used to be
03:19 - 03:23They still haven't guessed
03:25 - 03:26who that Hugh McTrousers
03:31 - 03:33bloke is, thank God.
03:40 - 03:46We just need that couple back
03:46 - 03:49with their dogs in a supermarket trolley
03:53 - 03:56to reunite the population again.