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Estimates?
Fuck off and get better at estimates!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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00:00 - 00:05We have so much work
00:05 - 00:07More work than could ever possibly be delivered
00:07 - 00:10BS11, QCB
00:11 - 00:16Negative interest rates, the list goes on
00:17 - 00:21We tell them they need to get better at estimation
00:21 - 00:24Not us
00:29 - 00:31them
00:31 - 00:34Tell them they must be accurate
00:38 - 00:40100% accurate
00:41 - 00:47No plus or minus 30%
00:47 - 00:50must be 100% accurate
00:50 - 00:56must include all dependencies
00:58 - 00:59and then
00:59 - 01:01send them a survey asking
01:04 - 01:06WHY ARE YOU SO SHIT
01:06 - 01:08AT ESTIMATES?
01:13 - 01:14dumb asses
01:14 - 01:16Ignore priorities
01:16 - 01:20Ignore funding
01:21 - 01:27Why are you all so shit at estimates?
01:35 - 01:36Engineers are resigning
01:36 - 01:39Technical debt is ballooning
01:41 - 01:44We have too much work to do
01:44 - 01:47huge deliverables
01:47 - 01:49years and years of work
01:50 - 01:53Have some more
01:54 - 01:56how about
01:56 - 01:5850 more
01:58 - 02:0250 "accelerate" projects
02:05 - 02:07must have estimates
02:10 - 02:11100% accurate
02:11 - 02:13by next week
02:15 - 02:17and a roadmap
02:17 - 02:20with dependencies
02:21 - 02:28here they are spending all their time doing estimates
02:29 - 02:30instead of
02:30 - 02:32actually delivering
02:36 - 02:39Why won't you commit to a date?
02:40 - 02:42why have you missed your deadline?
02:50 - 02:55Then we remind them of the values
02:56 - 02:58Any EOY pay rises?
02:58 - 03:04No fucking way, we just blame that on covid
03:04 - 03:09we still made a huge profit
03:09 - 03:11but they're not getting any
03:16 - 03:20now fuck off
03:23 - 03:26and get better
03:31 - 03:36at fucking estimates!