00:00 - 00:03They are marching up Pennsylvania Avenue.
00:04 - 00:05 They really don't like you.
00:05 - 00:07Their signs are funny though.
00:08 - 00:12This is probably a bad time to tell you, but your poll numbers are tanking.
00:12 - 00:15You are trailing Biden in the swing states that you won in 2016.
00:17 - 00:19Don't worry. People say this economy is YUGE!
00:19 - 00:21We campaign on how well the stock market is doing.
00:24 - 00:26Mr. President...
00:27 - 00:28The jobs report...
00:31 - 00:33The jobs report is not good...14.7% unemployment.
00:34 - 00:36It's a Depression.
00:53 - 00:58Everyone out but Kushner, Pence, Conway, and Miller.
01:13 - 01:15You said this would be easy!
01:15 - 01:17...and my ignorant racist base would keep me in power!
01:18 - 01:23I never liked those rednecks, but at least they cheered for me and voted for me!
01:25 - 01:28I even pretended to like their religion!
01:29 - 01:31I put a rapist on the Supreme Court!
01:31 - 01:34I gave all the billionaires tax cuts!
01:34 - 01:37Now, because of this pandemic hoax
01:37 - 01:40I can't even sneak out to rawdog pornstars and teenagers!
01:40 - 01:42Sir, we can only whack so many pimps for you.
01:42 - 01:46At least Epstein knew how to party, unlike you pussies!
01:46 - 01:48Mr. President, we are losing focus here.
01:48 - 01:52Focus on this dickhead, I'm going golfing!
01:53 - 01:54Zuckerburg covers for me.
01:56 - 01:57He's does his part.
01:57 - 02:00But now Twitter is fact-checking me.
02:00 - 02:03Pelosi wears my balls around her neck.
02:04 - 02:08That woman from Michigan makes me look like an impotent cuck.
02:08 - 02:13Melania has "had a headache" since Stormy went public.
02:14 - 02:16Even Ivanka is spurning my advances
02:17 - 02:21for the first time since she was in high school!
02:27 - 02:29Don't look at me like that Kushner.
02:30 - 02:34You knew she was mine from the beginning.
02:34 - 02:36Dude, you even creep Stephen Miller out.
02:41 - 02:42Yes, I fucked up on Corona.
02:43 - 02:47But Obama wore that tan suit once!
02:48 - 02:53We all knew I was going to be a shitshow.
02:54 - 02:56Even Putin is all, "Dude, slow down...
02:56 - 02:59...I didn't say you had to clusterfuck America THIS badly....
03:00 - 03:02...I wanted it weakened, not obliterated."
03:04 - 03:07It's ok Tiffany. I'm sure daddy loves you too.
03:14 - 03:16Maybe Fox News can help.
03:19 - 03:23We'll blame this all on black people.
03:25 - 03:26Focus on broken windows.
03:31 - 03:33Tell the governors to start shooting people.
03:40 - 03:46Leave me now. I have to poop...
03:46 - 03:49...and send some tweets.
03:53 - 03:56So, you know, both.