| 00:00 - 00:03 | So, what is the GPS location of the TP? |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Heading for the public loos |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | just by the services, |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | South of Berlin.. making good progress |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | We expect the first rolls to be dropped this afternoon |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Is it the fluffy Andrex |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | or that nasty Izal medicated? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sir....... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Boris... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Boris ordered ...... the really rough Izal medicated |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Our arses will be ruined. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | If you have already "dropped the kids off at the pool", leave now. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the hell have you done |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | you ordered two weeks ago |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | soft and fluffy, perforated, |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | kitten packaging... |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Dont cry... |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | softly scented with roses |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | a pleasure to caress the skin |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | and you order that rough AF sandpaper.. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But my finger went through... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | you should fold, not scrunch! IDIOT! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | You don't have the Brown Laser.... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Brown Laser! Toughen up, sweetcheeks! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Look, how are we to continue. |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | One little luxury we all had |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Slipping that between the cheeks |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | the highpoint of my day |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Caressing the buttocks |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | like a summer breeze in Bechtesgaden |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | in the Adler Nest long drop... |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | doing the Suduku and crossword in the Daily Heil... |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | My arse is in tatters... |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Just the thought of it... |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | how humiliating. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | My Clagnuts... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | My haemoroids..... gott in himmel... the pain... |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | My underwear is a scorched earth zone as it is |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | The back is completely blown out |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Don't give me Jonny Cash's "Ring of Fire" |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | I know EXACTLY how he felt. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | The last soft sheet. I took it... |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | This is the worst day. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | All dignity is lost forever. No greater shame. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I'll hold it all in. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Muscle control... |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I've got the sweats just thinking about it, the end of days |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | No soft paper, no other option. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Send the Izal back... |
