| 00:00 - 00:03 | We're really in the shit. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | COVID-19 is all over us. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | It's in Europe here and here. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Not even jews are immune. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | We need to do something now. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Just do social distancing, |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | then everything will be fine. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer, that's dumb... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Even Boris said that |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | You have to listen to the WHO. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | We must cancel the Nuremburg rally. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Stay in the room if you ever voted Tory - otherwise fuck off. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | That was an order! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | And I order you stop Liverpool winning the league. |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | What else is the point of supreme power? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Well? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Don't cry Liverpool will still win. |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | We must end the Premier League season now. |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | I have supported Manchester City all my life. |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | And Oasis are way better than Blur. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But Liverpool are 25 points ahead. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | But they could still collapse. |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Fuhrer, Jurgen Klopp is a fellow German. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Yes, but he talks sense - he's not my sort of German. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | He's a very nice man... |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | With excellent teeth... |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | And he likes Scousers... |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | What else can I say about him? |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I suspect he even supports the EU. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | The treacherous bastard. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I bet he would even have Stalin in his team. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Stalin was of course a very talented winger. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | He could have played for West Ham. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | He would have linked up well with Andy Carroll. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | If Carroll was not complete waste of space. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | And I am the Fuhrer. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | It's a complete lie that Herr Cummings is in charge. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Herr Cummings is a valued advisor. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Just like Herr Goebells |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | and Herr Himmler... |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Don't cry.... |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Mohammed Salah is under contract for years. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I never thought it would come to this... |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Perhaps we should never have invaded Russia? |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Or declared war on the US? |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | The war is lost. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I was was in Waitrose this morning and there was no toilet roll. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | You think this is a problem? |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Just wait for Hard Brexit. |
