| 00:00 - 00:03 | Gentlemen, we cannot move the games |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | The Italians wanted to play here |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Yet we have some serious logistic issues |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Because Commentator David Flatman |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Is too fat to get through the alleyways here |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Yes, he's far too chubby. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Can't the fat fuck diet? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Boss, it's.... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | it's not.... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | ....it's not so simple...He is a compulsive eater! |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | We thought about Jill Douglas but she can't do comms |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | You dieticians- what does he eat to make him so fat? Cake? Crisps? Beer? |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | THE WORLD IS WATCHING AND YOU DO THIS? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | HAVE YOU CONSIDERED THE ANCHOR SPONSORS? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | The city is at a standstill because of Flatman! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | The tournament ruined because of one alleyway |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | We never had this problem |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | With Bill, Robbo, Nick Mullins.... |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | It's all gone fucking pear shaped since Ed Marriage went freelance. |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | That's zero hours contacts for you! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But boss, there's an expectation of 20 hours minimum |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Fuck that! How can the comms teams plan a future without income?? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Boss, we all have families.... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Fuck that, we are here to grow the game and make Brett Gosper rich! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | PRIORITES!!!!!! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | See if Motson is available! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | he might know fuck all about rugby |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | but at least he's slim enough to get through the alley. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Linekar can summerise |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | He loves the EU and Germany, so he's fine |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | And if worse comes to the worst, get Durden-Smith back over there |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Anyone, bbut make sure we don't have to put up with bloody Fordham. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | He's a step too far. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I bet Dave Rodgers is pitchside. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | That's a pro for you. Slim and lean. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Our logistics were perfect |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | We even got Roberts' jaw through that alleyway |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | And Dallaglio's suitcases, and god knows |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | what customs whould have found inside those. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | You need to make sure the commentators are training harder than the players |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | We don't need them eating and causing bloat |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry, the doughnuts will freeze! |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I can see the rights going back to Sky |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | And then the same problem will occur with Barnes |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Plus we have to listen to the whining old fart |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | A trick....an idea |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | We can use Microsoft Cloud to project an image of Flats into the stadium |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Nobody will know; Japan is the world of tech |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | We can use an insta filter to make him look thin. |
