| 00:00 - 00:03 | We have received confirmation |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | from Colin Graves |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | that one of these locations |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | will be acceptable for Germanys first |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | professional ECB-affiliated cricket club. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | At last, after all these years |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | four-day cricket will come to Brandenburg |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Fuhrer, |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | the agreement... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | The agreement is not for the Championship. |
| 00:34 - 00:40 | It will be a city-based franchise for 'The Hundred' |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Those who feel as I do about this 'Hundred', leave now |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What in God's name have you done? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I demanded championship cricket for Germany |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | and you give me this third-rate hundred ball garbage |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | dreamed up by some ECB half-wit |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | to make money from media deals |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | instead of promoting the county game |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | How will Germany become a test nation |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | if we only play this 100 ball rubbish? |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But, the women and children... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | don't start with that guff about them loving the format |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My Fuhrer, market research strongly suggests
|
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Market research my backside they asked people on mumsnet! |
| 01:53 - 01:55 | then feed you propaganda |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | about new audiences, when all |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | they've ever wanted is city-based cricket |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | and instead of clubs with traditional names |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | like North Rhine-Westphalia Cricket Club |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | we will have stupid brands like the 'Berlin Bearcubs' |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | with an idiot in a bear costume and lederhosen |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | dancing to bloody 'Sweet Caroline' all night long! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | And the commentary from David Lloyd... |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | My God, I could do better than that imbecile |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Over after over of unintelligible drivel |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | No one even knows the rules |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | It's a complete shambles - designed just so TV |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | will buy the bloody thing |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | well, they can shove their marketing |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | up their backsides |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | not even Goebbels would stoop this low |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't cry, you're the target market |
| 03:14 - 03:17 | Herr Speer had already designed the stadium |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Like New Road, with a Ladies Pavillion and deck chairs |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | and chestnut trees |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | but, you've destroyed our dreams |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | now there will be hot tubs and burger vans |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | and overpriced weak lager and chips |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | the ECB have won |
