00:00 - 00:03We have received confirmation
00:04 - 00:05from Colin Graves
00:05 - 00:07that one of these locations
00:08 - 00:12will be acceptable for Germany’s first
00:12 - 00:15professional ECB-affiliated cricket club.
00:17 - 00:19At last, after all these years
00:19 - 00:21four-day cricket will come to Brandenburg
00:24 - 00:26My Fuhrer,
00:27 - 00:28the agreement...
00:31 - 00:33The agreement is not for the Championship.
00:34 - 00:40It will be a city-based franchise for 'The Hundred'
00:53 - 00:58Those who feel as I do about this 'Hundred', leave now
01:13 - 01:15What in God's name have you done?
01:15 - 01:17I demanded championship cricket for Germany
01:18 - 01:23and you give me this third-rate hundred ball garbage
01:25 - 01:28dreamed up by some ECB half-wit
01:29 - 01:31to make money from media deals
01:31 - 01:34instead of promoting the county game
01:34 - 01:37How will Germany become a test nation
01:37 - 01:40if we only play this 100 ball rubbish?
01:40 - 01:42But, the women and children...
01:42 - 01:46don't start with that guff about them loving the format
01:46 - 01:48My Fuhrer, market research strongly suggests…
01:48 - 01:52Market research my backside – they asked people on mumsnet!
01:53 - 01:55then feed you propaganda
01:56 - 01:57about new audiences, when all
01:57 - 02:00they've ever wanted is city-based cricket
02:00 - 02:03and instead of clubs with traditional names
02:04 - 02:08like North Rhine-Westphalia Cricket Club
02:08 - 02:13we will have stupid brands like the 'Berlin Bearcubs'
02:14 - 02:16with an idiot in a bear costume and lederhosen
02:17 - 02:21dancing to bloody 'Sweet Caroline' all night long!
02:27 - 02:29And the commentary from David Lloyd...
02:30 - 02:34My God, I could do better than that imbecile
02:34 - 02:36Over after over of unintelligible drivel
02:41 - 02:42No one even knows the rules
02:43 - 02:47It's a complete shambles - designed just so TV
02:48 - 02:53will buy the bloody thing
02:54 - 02:56well, they can shove their marketing
02:56 - 02:59 up their backsides
03:00 - 03:02not even Goebbels would stoop this low
03:04 - 03:07Don't cry, you're the target market
03:14 - 03:17Herr Speer had already designed the stadium
03:19 - 03:23Like New Road, with a Ladies Pavillion and deck chairs
03:25 - 03:26and chestnut trees
03:31 - 03:33but, you've destroyed our dreams
03:40 - 03:46now there will be hot tubs and burger vans
03:46 - 03:49and overpriced weak lager and chips
03:53 - 03:56the ECB have won