00:00 - 00:03So you can submit a new withdrawal bill tomorrow.
00:04 - 00:05Phil's throwing another two billion at Arlene.
00:05 - 00:07And we've bought Jacob Rees Mogg Dunkirk on DVD.
00:08 - 00:12Assuming Corbyn whips like a wet fish again
00:12 - 00:15A new Bill should scrape through by about three votes.
00:17 - 00:19No changes. Submit the same Bill again.
00:19 - 00:21The House must choose between my deal or chaos.
00:24 - 00:26Prime Minister...
00:27 - 00:28Bercow...
00:31 - 00:33Bercow says you can't submit the same Bill again this session.
00:34 - 00:36There need to be significant changes.
00:53 - 00:58Lidington, Barclay, Leadsom, Hammond. Everyone else out.
01:13 - 01:15What does that poisonous dwarf think he's doing?!
01:15 - 01:17Does he WANT Boris Johnson to be PM?
01:18 - 01:23Boris is probably wanking over this in the bogs as we speak.
01:25 - 01:28Floppy haired twat.
01:29 - 01:31He's had a haircut.
01:31 - 01:34I had a plan!
01:34 - 01:37Keep pushing this deal again and again
01:37 - 01:40until the ERG got bored and caved in.
01:40 - 01:42Prime Minister we could push Malthouse Plan B and...
01:42 - 01:46Malthouse is sparkly unicorns, Barclay. What does it even mean?!
01:46 - 01:48Prime Minister. Brexit Means Brexit and...
01:48 - 01:52Don't you use that line on me you little shit.
01:53 - 01:54I invented it!
01:56 - 01:57'Brexit Means Brexit'
01:57 - 02:00'Citizens of Nowhere'
02:00 - 02:03'My deal or no deal'
02:04 - 02:08If slogans were votes, Stephen
02:08 - 02:13we wouldn't be paying for Belfast to get a new Nandos.
02:14 - 02:16I could tell Arlene to fuck right off
02:17 - 02:21and go back to joking about Corbyn being Stalin.
02:27 - 02:29Do you know how stupid I'll look in Brussels?
02:30 - 02:34I promised them I was the one who'd get this over the line.
02:34 - 02:36'Strong and stable!'
02:41 - 02:42I was GOOD as Home Secretary.
02:43 - 02:47'We need to create a hostile environment for illegal immigrants!'
02:48 - 02:53The blue rinse brigade lapped it up.
02:54 - 02:56Now even Dominic Raab wants my job.
02:56 - 02:59You're probably getting Rees-Mogg next, you know.
03:00 - 03:02I bet he Googles nanny porn at work!
03:04 - 03:07Don't worry. I'll show him Private Browsing.
03:14 - 03:17Fucking Bercow. All those hours I put in with Arlene.
03:19 - 03:23I even sang hymns with her. The rubbish ones.
03:25 - 03:26"He's got the Whole World in His Hands"
03:31 - 03:33"All Things Bright and Beautiful"
03:40 - 03:46This party doesn't deserve me. This COUNTRY doesn't deserve me.
03:46 - 03:49By Thatcher's heart I curse you...
03:53 - 03:56...may Grayling rule you all.