| 00:00 - 00:03 | UVA whipped us in the Belk Bowl |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | That was expected |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | but we felt Bama would beat Clemson |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | in the real national title game |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | but Clemson is the best team ever and killed Bama |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | No one kills Bama, they are the best |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | You must have read it wrong |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Clemson won by 28 and is 15-0 |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | their best players are freshman too |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | they're going to crush us for years to come |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | They have 3x as many natties as we have conference titles |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | anyone with an IQ under 75 please leave now |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | We only have one thing going for us |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Our favorite team is Bama |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Bama this, Bama that |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | And now our big brother destroyed that too |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | there is nothing to live for anymore |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | our QB is a flopping loser |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | and they have the next Peyton Manning |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | and a defense full of bullies |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | most of their defense is seniors |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | they have all 4 and 5 stars replacing them |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | but it's easy to recruit there because Clemson is beautiful |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I can't stand living in Columbia |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | this is a craphole, no wonder no one wins here |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | The real Carolina is in Chapel Hill |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | USC is in southern california |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | and THE university in this state |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | always has been, always will be CLEMSON |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | our trophy case is emptier than our brains |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | and our wardrobe is Bama clothes |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Now we have to throw that out too |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | maybe it's time to stop playing Clemson every year |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | we barely make it to the whogivesafuck bowl |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | we could use another easy game |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | schedule LA Tech instead |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | oh wait, we almost lost to them too, maybe try ST Mary's school for the blind |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | If we run quietly maybe we can beat them |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | at least they won't steal our signs |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | which our own players can't even keep straight |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | because any recruit who would come here is a moron |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | This is the only school we got into |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | get me a Clemson shirt and hat, and some glasses |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I'll pretend to be a fan and blend in |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I can't keep being laughed at |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | burn my cock attire |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | and tell my agent to look for other jobs |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | maybe at Hardee's or something |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | God, I really am a gamecock fan |
