Zwift Pre-Holiday Summit
2,006 views11/22/2018
Min Fuhrer gathers his minions around him to assess business going into the Thanksgiving period
0 Comments
Be the first to leave a comment.
▸Show captions (49)
| 00:00 - 00:03 | Min fuhrer, the plans for expansion are going well |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | We have decided to put new roads |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | into Innsbruck |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | People asking for Watopia expansion represent only 98% of our users |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and once they see the 1.7km flat loop with 200 lamp posts, they will be appeased |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | All this, but no reverse on Richmond? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | But at least the in-game store has dropped |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Min fuhrer... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | The store... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Sells T-shirts, Schwinn bikes and Footpods |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | We haven't released the in-game store yet |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Every one of you that has signed up for the CVRcade beta, get out... |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Are you out of your minds? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | This is thanksgiving, FFS! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | You're telling me that we're just about to go into our busiest three months of the year... and expect to get subscription uplift based on T-SHIRTS?!? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Fucking amateurs |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | GET RUPPERT IN HERE, NOW! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | We need damage limitation, stat! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | FOOTPODS? FOOTPODS?! Who wants to run? |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Running is what you do to avoid being eaten! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Min fuhrer, our focus groups tell us that we have over 37 subscribers who run on Zwift |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | This is a CYCLING platform! CYCLING! You idiot! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Min fuhrer - we have also released full year subscriptions |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I know - I'm already dealing with the fallout from that. NO DISCOUNTS??? |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Where's the point in that? |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | There isn't a subscription-based business on EARTH |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | that doesn't offer a discount for long-term sign-ups! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | FFS TRAINERROAD does that! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | How am I meant to fight off the competition with this? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I've got Levie releasing stuff that makes it look like Level 50 is coming next week |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | ...and you;re bringing me f*&%ing FOOTPODS? |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And we STILL can't fix the sodding blob in races |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | It's OK, at least we'll have world switching soon |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Jon told me himself last week |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Users will be able to choose where they want to ride |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | No restrictions |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | We'll be able to CRUSH CVRCade and their 2-bit graphics when we have free world switching for users |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | No more 6km long pacelines |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | No more hacking poxy XML in a prefs file |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | A beautiful GUI menu selection, with all worlds available |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Maybe with a tunnel or warp between them. Seamless |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Stop snivelling. You could be working at BKool |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I don't want to hear one word about a f&*%ing airport |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | People want to be able to ride wherever they want |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Whenever they want |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Not have their experience curated for them |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | And another thing. The next update better have f&*%ing dinosaurs |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | And better race tools for organisers |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | At least CVRcade looks shit |