Hitler's Quest for the Pole Vault Mats
354 views  • 9/20/2012
| 00:00 - 00:03 | It seems that you have drank all your whiskey | 
| 00:04 - 00:05 | I think it's about time you go home | 
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Or you can crash here | 
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We don't want you to get arrested, Coach doesn't condone drinking | 
| 00:12 - 00:15 | He hasn't had a drink in twenty years | 
| 00:17 - 00:19 | No, I will go sleep on the pole vault mats | 
| 00:19 - 00:21 | It's the greatest idea ever | 
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer | 
| 00:27 - 00:28 | The window... | 
| 00:31 - 00:33 | The window was fixed | 
| 00:34 - 00:36 | There's no other way to get in | 
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everybody but Dial, Joey and Dial's sister leave the party now | 
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Where the hell am I supposed to sleep tonight? | 
| 01:15 - 01:17 | In a ditch like a common hobo? | 
| 01:18 - 01:23 | That wouldn't even be remotely comfortable | 
| 01:25 - 01:28 | I want to wake up with check marks all over my body | 
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Because I slept on the fucking mats naked! | 
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I want to look down at my dick | 
| 01:34 - 01:37 | And play tic-tac-toe | 
| 01:37 - 01:40 | But they fixed the fucking window | 
| 01:40 - 01:42 | We'll work on the window when we're sober | 
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Fine! I'll go sleep on Doc! | 
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Fuhrer, It's much too cold outside | 
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Cold? You think I can feel anything right now? | 
| 01:53 - 01:54 | First I'm going to go Rambo on the soccer players | 
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Then I'm going to go back to Doc | 
| 01:57 - 02:00 | And cuddle my football until I fall asleep | 
| 02:00 - 02:03 | I swear on my life Brad will pay for this | 
| 02:04 - 02:08 | This is somehow his fault | 
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I already told you about the time he forgot the laundry | 
| 02:14 - 02:16 | It would have been the best sleep I ever got | 
| 02:17 - 02:21 | But now I'm going to have to go home and sleep in my own bed | 
| 02:27 - 02:29 | The problem is, I don't even remember where home is | 
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Casey will probably want to help me find it | 
| 02:34 - 02:36 | But I really just think she wants me in her pants | 
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I guess I could just pass out at her place | 
| 02:43 - 02:47 | But I'm too drunk to resist the temptation | 
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I'll just imagine that I'm having sex with Dial | 
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Yeah. That'll work. | 
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Why is she even still here? | 
| 03:00 - 03:02 | This isn't even her party | 
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry, she'll still want to bang | 
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I will be so ashamed of myself | 
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Nobody can ever know that I railed Dial's sister | 
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I suppose... | 
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I could just tell people | 
| 03:40 - 03:46 | That I passed out on her couch. That's a believable story | 
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Though I'll always know that I tongue punched Dial's sister | 
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I need some triple burn | 
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