Hitler: Alexei Dmitriev
843 views • 8/19/2015
Hitler learns that Alexei Dmitriev isn't coming to his film festival
| 00:00 - 00:03 | The schedule for Saturday is locked. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Mick Hannigan's Desert Island Flicks |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | will play in the 13,500 seat stadium |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | and the Albanian New Wave retro screens here, |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | then later we'll unveil the Jennifer Reeder statue. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Followed by Alexei's |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | spontaneous karaoke party. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Führer... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Alexei... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Alexei's not coming to the festival. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | He's going to IndieLisboa instead. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Would all those who didn't like The Shadow of Her Smile please leave. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | This festival is finished! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I can't believe I was so stupid as to believe you idiots! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | You said all we needed for a successful festival |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | was Dmitriev and his fucking karaoke machine. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Why werent you doing your jobs securing sponsorship |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | from a Swiss Bank like bloody Winterthur?! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | But no, you said if we show Alexei's new film hell come |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | and we'll have a Robbie Williams singalong like Hamburg! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My Führer, The Shadow of Her Smile is worth showing on its own merits! |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Bullshit! He's just parading his personal porn stash! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My Führer, it's a sublime example of beauty transcending context. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | It's a sublime example of creatively-bankrupt fuckwittery! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Alexei Dmitriev! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | I've been programming shorts for a decade |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | and I'd never heard of the dude until last year |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | and yet he's tight with everyone from Adrian Sitaru to J-G Périot! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Where did he come from all of a sudden? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Hows the wee Russian bastard so well connected? |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | How does someone who likes cat videos and lives with his mother |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | become so indispensable to the short film circuit?! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Granted, Hermeneutics is pretty good, I'll give him that, |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | and he's always good for a round of drinks. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | But Karaoke?! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Cmon, seriously?! |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Tampere has a sauna party for fucksake. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Drunk naked people jumping into a frozen lake! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | and you people want dodgy House of Pain covers? |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Fifteen Canadians on a dance floor shouting 'Jump around!' |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Whitey rap music performed by overgrown schoolboys! |
| 03:04 - 03:08 | Don't worry, Wouter will still do his Beastie Boys moves for you. |
| 03:14 - 03:17 | And to think I spent weeks in front of a mirror |
| 03:19 - 03:22 | practising Common People. |
| 03:25 - 03:27 | My Jarvis Cocker dance was impeccable. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | There's only one thing for it. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I know they're making nature documentaries now |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | but it's got to be worth a try. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Someone call Hannes and Pekka. |
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