Hitler Reacts to getting a one way air tour

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3,564 views5/8/2017
Hitler Reacts to being changed from a T2 landing tour, to a one way...B2 air tour.

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00:00 - 00:03Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen
00:04 - 00:05Expect winds out of the south gusting 35 knots
00:05 - 00:07GCW is reporting broken at 1000' and 3sm visibility
00:08 - 00:12We're showing airmet tango, sierra and zulu along the route
00:12 - 00:15The radar is showing a line of cells moving north towards meadview
00:17 - 00:19That's fine, at least I'll be in a T2
00:19 - 00:21and I'll have plenty of gas to divert for weather
00:24 - 00:26Captain Dingleberry
00:27 - 00:28You were...
00:31 - 00:33You were switched to a one way B2 air tour
00:34 - 00:36The pax were rescheduled and are from Montreal Canada
00:53 - 00:58Get out if you don't want to see me flip shit, throw things and cuss
01:13 - 01:15Are you fucking kidding me!?!?
01:15 - 01:17I'm switching from 14 into 37 with one way fuel!?!?!
01:18 - 01:23Who the fuck is working in the tower today? Is Zack up there getting his rocks off?
01:25 - 01:28This shit happens every fucking day
01:29 - 01:31Of course they're going to give me rescheduled pax
01:31 - 01:34Let me guess, I've got 800 lbs in the back seats?
01:34 - 01:37Do they think I like cramming four full grown hippos into the back seats
01:37 - 01:40and not be able to close the fucking sliding door?
01:40 - 01:42Captain Dingleberry, I'm sorry but we had no one else
01:42 - 01:46Of course you had no one else, because they're all flying swedish supermodels
01:46 - 01:48Captain Dingleberry, I'm sorry but it's our only option
01:48 - 01:52Get the leads to get off their asses and fly for once!
01:53 - 01:54This is complete bull shit
01:56 - 01:57Every day I come to work and pre flight 2 or 3 helicopters
01:57 - 02:00and end up flying a completely different one
02:00 - 02:03only to end up flying B2 air tours!
02:04 - 02:08How am I supposed to get pilot appreciation in those hunks of junk?
02:08 - 02:13I'll tell you how much money I made last week....three crumpled up ones from the DUB!
02:14 - 02:16I can't do these one way B2 air tours anymore!
02:17 - 02:21One of these days I'll tighten the frictions and jump out over the lake!
02:27 - 02:29This is not sustainable day in and day out
02:30 - 02:34I feel like a damn flying monkey!
02:34 - 02:36I need a landing with three American couples
02:41 - 02:42I didn't spend $60K on flight school
02:43 - 02:47to come to the canyon and sweat my nuts off for this shit
02:48 - 02:53They promised me money, huey's, and all the ass I want
02:54 - 02:56Now I'm stuck wearing a riverboat captain costume
02:56 - 02:59Flying the same damn tour, answering the same damn questions
03:00 - 03:02The fucking Grand Canyon isn't man made you idiots!!
03:04 - 03:07It's ok, I know you only asked that once
03:14 - 03:16I should have stayed at McDonalds
03:19 - 03:23At least I could eat all the chicken mcnuggets I wanted
03:25 - 03:26They gave me shits
03:31 - 03:33Any of you want this flight?
03:40 - 03:46If I have to fly this tour, in a damn B2
03:46 - 03:49and someone asks me something stupid
03:53 - 03:56I think I might snap