Make a Video
501 views • 5/2/2017
This is a descriptive description describing the things herein described.
00:00 - 00:03
The competition is fierce and growing.
00:04 - 00:05
As the verticals become saturated
00:05 - 00:07
competitors are beating us on price,
00:08 - 00:12
AI startups are moving faster, and eating away at our incumbent advantage
00:12 - 00:15
And VCs are beginning to buy into the hype as well.
00:17 - 00:19
AI is just a buzzword
00:19 - 00:21
Our customers don't want all that crap
00:24 - 00:26
00:27 - 00:28
00:31 - 00:33
StartupYard has announced 2 rounds of acceleration
00:34 - 00:36
For "deep tech companies."
00:53 - 00:58
Please Google: AI/ML, Bots, and Blockchain.
01:13 - 01:15
You were supposed to innovate!
01:15 - 01:17
Our corporate guidelines stress Innovation!
01:18 - 01:23
Now I find out some assholes in a garage have handed you your own asses!
01:25 - 01:28
How many memos have I circulated?
01:29 - 01:31
How many goddamn workshops?
01:31 - 01:34
And we're having to compete with "startups"
01:34 - 01:37
That attack narrow verticals with new technologies
01:37 - 01:40
And there's no room to pad out our services with consultancy and IT support centers
01:40 - 01:42
Sir, AI cuts down costs and frees up companies to...
01:42 - 01:46
Consulting is our CORE BUSINESS you moron!
01:46 - 01:48
Sir, customers prefer new tech!
01:48 - 01:52
Tell me that story when you're lining up for the dole
01:53 - 01:54
It's all over!
01:56 - 01:57
It used to be that
01:57 - 02:00
We could sell software and then
02:00 - 02:03
have a customer's balls in a vice grip for years
02:04 - 02:08
We could charge for IT support, travel, and fat administration fees.
02:08 - 02:13
We could make a project that should take 6 weeks take 6 months
02:14 - 02:16
It was so good while it lasted.
02:17 - 02:21
And these lean startups have come up from nowehere and made us IRRELEVANT!
02:27 - 02:29
There used to be honor in this business
02:30 - 02:34
kickbacks and sweetheart deals. Money for the taking.
02:34 - 02:36
We had the Europe by the balls.
02:41 - 02:42
Customers totally dependent
02:43 - 02:47
On our shitty, outdated, overpriced hardware, they couldn't stop using even if they tried!
02:48 - 02:53
And now some college kids can create a neural network overnight, and beat us at our own game
02:54 - 02:56
And they don't even charge for support
02:56 - 02:59
I made my career on overcharging for support
03:00 - 03:02
I may never get a fat bonus again!
03:04 - 03:07
It's ok Anna. The robots won't take your job!
03:14 - 03:16
We stopped innovating
03:19 - 03:23
We became everything we used to hate
03:25 - 03:26
03:31 - 03:33
The war is lost
03:40 - 03:46
But be warned: They'll drag me out of this corporation kicking and screaming.
03:46 - 03:49
I don't give a fuck about quarterly reports anymore.
03:53 - 03:56
Let's go cash in our stock options.
Add your own comment
No comments yet.
Hamas leader hears there won't be a ceasefire
FedEx to PSA
Hitler hears FSU was left out of the CFP
Penn State wins again
Hitler tries to manage fall manure application
Hitler reagerar på förtalsdom
BMF s2+ story
The Pirate Orc Chronicles - part 2
Swedbank decides on alcohol policy
Sabres in 2023