| 00:00 - 00:05 | Fawn runs up and says, "Hey! Get your shit man we've got a dispatch!" |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | "Hurry! It sounds like a big fire!" |
| 00:07 - 00:10 | So I grabbed my flight suit and boots |
| 00:11 - 00:16 | And we'd already decided that if we got canceled... |
| 00:17 - 00:21 | we would jettison on the portable shithouse out behind the base! |
| 00:21 - 00:24 | The SHITTER! |
| 00:29 - 00:31 | The shitter! |
| 00:31 - 00:34 | Where our buddy Clint was taking a dump! |
| 00:38 - 00:40 | The shitter! |
| 00:41 - 00:47 | We took off and were immediately canceled, so we flew over to the tanker base fast and low |
| 00:47 - 00:50 | and hit the shithouse with 1000 gallons of fire foam! |
| 00:50 - 00:56 | That motherfucker flew 20 feet! |
| 00:58 - 00:59 | We could just imagine our poor friend Clint |
| 00:59 - 01:01 | in there bouncing around and covered in shit and piss and blue toilet water! |
| 01:04 - 01:06 | The door even flew off! |
| 01:06 - 01:08 | That shit house spun like a football! |
| 01:13 - 01:14 | The shitter! |
| 01:14 - 01:16 | Of course as soon as we'd dropped |
| 01:16 - 01:20 | dispatch calls us on the radio and says "Don't jettinson! We've got another fire!" |
| 01:21 - 01:27 | We had to land and taxi through all the sewage to get another load of fire retardent! |
| 01:35 - 01:36 | That shit house was DECAPTITATED! |
| 01:36 - 01:39 | Blue plastic and clumps of toilet paper were EVERYWHERE! |
| 01:41 - 01:44 | And then! We started to get worried about Clint |
| 01:44 - 01:47 | I mean how could he survive such a catastrophe? |
| 01:47 - 01:49 | We weren't filming Jackass you know, we're regular people. |
| 01:50 - 01:53 | He's got a firehose and is spraying down the shit! |
| 01:54 - 01:56 | With a firehose... |
| 01:56 - 01:58 | pushing that shit towards the drain |
| 01:58 - 02:02 | We were in such big trouble, we owed big money to replace it |
| 02:05 - 02:07 | The shitter! |
| 02:10 - 02:11 | Do you know... |
| 02:11 - 02:13 | d'you know.... |
| 02:15 - 02:17 | Do you know how much those fucking things cost? |
| 02:17 - 02:20 | With delivery, installation, and servicing? Over $2000!!! |
| 02:21 - 02:28 | Good news was nobody saw anything but us. So after Clint hosed the thing off, we stood it upright and used duct tape to put it back together |
| 02:29 - 02:30 | With duct tape? |
| 02:30 - 02:32 | Yeah duct tape. And it wasn't even blue... |
| 02:36 - 02:39 | You could see that bright silver tape on that shithouse 4 miles away! |
| 02:40 - 02:42 | So I told Fawn she had to call the boss |
| 02:50 - 02:55 | and tell him what we'd done that day |
| 02:56 - 02:58 | And what did she tell him? |
| 02:58 - 03:04 | She told him the good news was his pilots were very accurate |
| 03:04 - 03:09 | And the bad news was we'd accurately destroyed the shit house. But we'd pay for it |
| 03:09 - 03:11 | Ayyyye he was so quiet then |
| 03:16 - 03:20 | Then he started laughing! |
| 03:23 - 03:26 | He called us morons and said he didn't want to hear any more about it |
| 03:31 - 03:36 | We were some real Chinese aces that day |
