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| 00:00 - 00:03 | Once again results are phenomenal |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | A8 is top in kirklees |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | as are our English results |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Heck Grammar beat us but they dont count |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Almost every other school didn't even come close |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | What do you mean almost every school |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Surely you mean all of them? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mr Stitchman |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Honley... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Honley got 69.6% Grade 5's in English and Maths |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | They increased by 15% |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everybody out except SLT and heads of English and Maths |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | 69.6%! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | How the hell did they get 69.6% |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I spend all year slagging them off... |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Sending spies to open evening... |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | And for what? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | What will we threaten the naughty kids with now? |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Go to Honley, get better GCSEs? |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | What a waste of time sending them Marley Johnson |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Mr Stichman, Marley was in year 10 last year |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I dont give a fuck what year he was in! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mr Stichman, nobody saw it coming |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Liz Fucking Lord saw it coming... |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | And that Dickhead Hewitt |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | All those RAG meetings... |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | So much for them being bollocks |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | They added 15% for fucks sake! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I thought we'd trashed their reputation so much |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | That they only got the kids with horrendous attendance these days |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | 2nd to Together Learning Trust |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | How am I going to hold my head up when I next see Lordy? |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Someone go get Shona |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | She told me they were all shit |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Not one of them worth poaching |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | That settles it... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | We're going to have to go. Cross that infernal 'green line' |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Make sure our shirts are tucked in and are phones aren't visible |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I'll do the English Questions |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | But Im going to swerve Stevo and his maths whiteboard |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | And if Hansom mentions my socks... |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Who knew Nike ticks did make a difference |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | First things first though |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Its open evening in a couple of weeks |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | What will I say? |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I've spent a decade |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Basing my speech on how much better we are than them |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | And now its all gone... |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Honley are number one |