Virgin Australia Cost Cutting.
30 views8/22/2026
Virgin Australia parody depicting Hitler raging about the ineffectiveness of the recent cost cutting measures.
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| 00:00 - 00:03 | Since introducing the cost saving measures, we have seen a 300% increase in passenger complaints. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Hot cabin temperatures. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Excessively hard braking after landings. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | No space for baggage in overhead lockers and... |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | business class passengers complaining of no divider between them and economy. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | It's OK, just give them a few more Velocity Points |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | and they'll forget the inconvenience. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Chief Pilot... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | the pilots... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | The pilots have decided to ignore these policies. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | They think it's to only improve your KPI's and bonus. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | The following men will stay...Bower, Spent, Rabid and Lower. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | That was an order I put in the FCON! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I don't want them using the APU after landing and giving passengers air. |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I don't want them using reverse thrust after landing and giving the passengers a smoother ride. |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | That all costs money. I want to pretend that I care about the environment. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I want the public to think that we are a sustainable airline. |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | But think about the absurdity of an airline trying to claim that they are 'sustainable'. |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | It's all about trying to con the public into thinking that we are greener than Jetstar and Qantas. |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | But we're no better than any of them. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Captain, you're ex Qantas, surely you know we're much better than them! |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Ah yes, we have added an extra row in economy class so we can carry more. |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But all that did was decrease the leg room and baggage space available. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I don't care about passenger comfort and convenience. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | They should all lose weight. |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | And not be so tall. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | We get away with not providing them a meal like a real airline does. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | That was another stich-up we somehow got away with. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | We also get away with charging for onboard internet as well-how I'll never know. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Air New Zealand has a fancy safety demo, they provide a meal and give away free internet. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I still have no idea how they do better than us. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | So, If I have to resort to making the passengers lives a misery...so be it. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I will continue with the great con job. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | So what if the pilots think I'm doing it for myself. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | We all know that I am. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | But I've worked hard to get where I am. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | It didn't take much to convince Jane that I was the right man for the job. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | At least I'm not posting like HR celebrating international 'this' day and international 'that' day. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I mean I didn't even know any of that stuff existed. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | I mean what the hell is internatiional 'colour' day or international 'pet' day? |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | We're a fu*cking airline for christ sake. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's OK, you can still carry your Chihuahua on board. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I only ever wanted to be like Alan Joyce. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | But it all went wrong and I ended up here. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | OK, I give up. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Allow the pilots to start the APU and use normal reverse thrust. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I don't have any shares in the company that makes our carbon brakes anyway. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | People will think I have backflipped so we'd better say it's for ramp safety. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Either way, I guess I'm screwed. |