FAAB
28 views7/9/2026
Brent is confronted on adding FAAB to the league. His colleagues have trouble convincing him.
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| 00:00 - 00:03 | Sir, final preparations are being made for the fantasy draft. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Waldo’s is the consensus. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Or Sonny William’s Steakhouse. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Though some have expressed safety concerns about the River Market. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | On account of all the murders. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | We are revitalizing the area. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | There are only a few roving bands of teenagers. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | What about FAAB? |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Please. |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | It works for my other leagues. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | It is very intuitive once you get the hang of it. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | FAAB… it’s gay. It’s off the table. It’s communism. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | IT IS VERY HARD TO LEARN. |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | FANTASY FOOTBALL IS SACRED. |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | YOU KNOW I WON THIS LEAGUE 15 YEARS IN A ROW? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | I should write a letter to the offices of ESPN and have you executed. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I HAVE DONE IT BEFORE AND I WILL DO IT AGAIN. |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | What if I spend all of my money in the first week? |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | I JUST DON’T HAVE THE MEANS TO PICK UP MORE PLAYERS FOR THE SEASON? |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | This would’ve never happened in Reagan’s America! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Commissioner, you have knocked your fedora off the table. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | IT IS A STETSON OPEN ROAD FLATBILLED COWBOY HAT. |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | It says “Fedora” on their website. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Fuck you, Steve! You have the worst team every year and I hope you die. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | NO FAAB! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Not even a vote! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | I would rather vote for Mamdani than incorporate this nonsense! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | I would rather wash under Andy Reid’s folds! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I would rather do it with my tongue!!! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | If it is brought up again, I swear to you that I will dissolve this entire LEAGUE! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Is nothing sacred anymore? |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Stop laughing, Trey! Don’t you have a woman to kill yourself over? |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | And Sawrie, you filthy hippie. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I love this league with all of my heart. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | It is the BEST league. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | It’s the only league with an active Groupchat. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | And STEVE I swear to god I will come to your house and shoot you if you so much as look at me. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | How could you all do this to me? Have I not been an unbiased commissioner? |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Robbie would never do this to me. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Sure, he may draft John Elway every year. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | But at least he has integrity! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | I’m sorry, Carmen. It isn’t always like this. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | It was easier in the beginning. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | First FAAB. Then what? We all have to kiss each other on the penis? |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Right, Taylor? |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | You want me to kiss your penis? |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Would that make you happy? Even if you were last pick in the draft? |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | This is why Socialism has no place in this league. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Penis kissing |