Starmer in the bunker

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Sir Keir hears the news from Makersfield and takes it very well

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00:00 - 00:03Prime Minister, the Makerfield results are in.
00:04 - 00:05Andy Burnham
00:05 - 00:07has triumphed.
00:08 - 00:12He is an MP again and coming to Westminster.
00:12 - 00:15This is his office, next to Angela Rayner
00:17 - 00:19Big Ange is a loyal lieutenant
00:19 - 00:21She'll rally the backbenchers to me
00:24 - 00:26Prime Minister ...
00:27 - 00:28Rayner ...
00:31 - 00:33Rayner has accepted a job in Burnham's cabinet
00:34 - 00:36He doesn't care about the tax thing
00:53 - 00:58Everyone out except Lammy, Reeves, Cooper and Miliband
01:13 - 01:15How the fuck can this be POSSIBLE?
01:15 - 01:17Farage had Makersfield in the bag!
01:18 - 01:23In May he won every fucking seat!
01:25 - 01:28You can't just rely on fascists when you need them
01:29 - 01:31Don't worry Shabana, he didn't mean you
01:31 - 01:34And don't talk to me about that shit McFadden
01:34 - 01:37Blabbing about tax all going on benefits
01:37 - 01:40How's that going to go down in the Red Wall?
01:40 - 01:42We tried to shred that email
01:42 - 01:46A THOUSAND PAGES OF MANDELSON EMAILS
01:46 - 01:48The shredder got jammed!
01:48 - 01:52You should have eaten them!
01:53 - 01:54And Healey!
01:56 - 01:57Him and Al Carns
01:57 - 02:00timing their resignations for maximum damage
02:00 - 02:03after I'd promised them another fifty quid for Defence!!
02:04 - 02:08How the fuck do they think Rachel can give away benefits to lardarses
02:08 - 02:13if I have to pay for stuff like soldiers and drones and missiles? Madness!
02:14 - 02:16Only Rachel and I understand the economy!
02:17 - 02:21Tax all enterprise! That's how you get GROWTH!
02:27 - 02:29How can we not be loved?
02:30 - 02:34My father was a toolmaker!
02:34 - 02:36I am a man of the people!
02:41 - 02:42OK I live in Islington
02:43 - 02:47but sometimes I meet ordinary people!
02:48 - 02:53I go to football matches!
02:54 - 02:56Ok the tickets are free ...
02:56 - 02:59but it's the common man's game!
03:00 - 03:02And then they sing I'm a wanker!
03:04 - 03:07No one knows you sing that too, Shabana
03:14 - 03:16So this is the end, is it?
03:19 - 03:23My glorious reign cut short by that Northern twat.
03:25 - 03:26He'll soon learn
03:31 - 03:33We've fucked everything up already
03:40 - 03:46All that awaits him is disaster
03:46 - 03:49There's no money and the party is unrulable
03:53 - 03:56At least I lasted longer than Truss