Starmer Finds Out Burnham Has Won
10 views6/19/2026
In which Keir Starmer discovers that Farage has muffed it and Burnham will be returning to Parliament to overthrow him.
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| 00:00 - 00:03 | Restore once again turned out hundreds of volunteers |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Rupert Lowe led them around town |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Their Remigration signs have sent dozens of our activists off for therapy |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | The Tories and the Lib Dems were invisible, |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | And the Green candidate lost her deposit. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | And Farage with his silly bus, |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | And his Sikhs with the teal turbans - they've seen off Burnham? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Keir... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Burnham... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Burnham has won it hands down. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | He's returning to parliament. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone out, except Hermer, Milliband, Lammy, and Reeves. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Trust Farage to fuck this up! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | He can't get a fucking thing right! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I want Hermer going through Kenyon's army records, he's fucked too! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | And as for that fucking twink Streeting? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I'll have him like those Ukrainians! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I'll get Khan to go after him with the Met! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | And why are they excited about Burnham anyway? |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | All he did was paint some buses yellow! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | They are nice looking buses, Keir.. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Even Corbyn has more to say for himself! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | He still has to win the leadership challenge. Hermer can probably block it |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | The backbenchers can't fucking wait to get rid of me. I'm fucked! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Totally fucked! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Net Zero you said |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Tax the pubs, I'll be fine, you said! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | And whose idea was it to shoot those fucking ponies? |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | And don't tell me this isn't all being led by Tony Blair |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Hes been after me ever since I cut Mandelson loose! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I was so close to total population replacement! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Now I can't even get a call back from Von Der Leyen! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I've wanted to destroy Britain since university |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I put SAS veterans on trial for the fun of it |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | I let imported pedos roam free |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I just wanted to finish the job |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | The Chagos Islands, Gibraltar, the Falklands - |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I was supposed to give them all away! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | This is worse than losing to Farage. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | A glorified bus conductor |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | And he calls himself King of the North |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay Yvette, you're too useless to be on his mind right now. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Three more years I had to wreck the place |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | And send off the youth to war |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | With Putin. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Britain may yet survive. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Burnham won't move fast enough. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | My survival depended on Farage |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | And he fucked it. |