| 00:00 - 00:03 | Miami finished the regular season 31-0. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | They won vs Akron |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | at Wright St. and Marshall |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | I do not see how we can keep them out of the NCAA Tournament |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Their resume is literally perfect. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | They can lose in Cleveland. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | It's only a 1-bid league. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Coach Pearl |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Steele... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Steele positioned them for an at-large bid. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Like Szczerbiak in 1999. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone but Lunardi, Bilas, Kratz... leave the room. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | The RedHawks are undefeated!? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Can't anyone beat this fucking team!? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | KenPom ranks them outside the Top 90 teams in the country! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Their predictive metrics are atrocious! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Why won't P4 teams schedule them? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | How are we going to get Auburn in now? |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | My son already lost 15 games this season. |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | I can't let him fail after handing him the job! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | The officials called 4 technicals on Miami. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | It should have been 14! That's why we paid them! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Coach Pearl, Ohio's fans even threw trash. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | The Bobcats ARE trash! Why did you leave it up to them? |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | They're useless! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | I can't keep defending Auburn. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | My son even pees sitting down. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | I sound like a complete idiot on TV! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | How does Miami keep winning all these 1-score games? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Those are supposed to be coin flips but Miami wins EVERY DAMN ONE! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | They're so clutch all the time. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And it's always a different player. If not Suder, then Skaljac! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | The SEC needs more teams in. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | We are a high-major, POWER FOUR conference! |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Cinderellas threatens our control. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Undefeated. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Just one fucking loss and this woulda been over! Everyone loses once! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Instead my entire newsfeed is GIFs of Suder smiling and waving. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Even Gonzaga lost to Portland. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Michigan isn't undefeated in Quadrant 2 and 3. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | UConn lost to Creighton and Marquette! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's ok. Cincy lost to EMU. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Could we cancel March Madness? |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Maybe start another pandemic like we did to Dayton in 2020? |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Is it possible? |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | This sucks for my son. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I waited until the first day of practice to retire. Gave him every advantage. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Apparently it wasn't enough. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Miami is inevitable. |
