| 00:00 - 00:03 | With all the head coaching vacancies |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | The AFC North is in shambles |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | The Ravens just hired their former water boy from the Chargers |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | And the Browns are trying to figure out how to hire Deion Sander |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | The Bengals are too poor to run ads for a new coach on Craigslist |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | The Steelers will now be in position to search for the best coach |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | and once again dominate the North |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Yinzer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | uhh |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Steelers just hired... |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Mike McCarthy as their next head coach |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone from Pittsburgh whose parents are related get out now |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What jagoff did that shit? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | We should have fired fucking Art Rooney II. |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Does the number two stand for a piece of shit? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | The third generation always fucks up the business! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Don't worry the standard is still the standard |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | We got a washed up Aaron Rogers |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | And then hire the coach who wasted him in his prime? |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | We haven't won a playoff game since Obama was president |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | McCarthy won the 2022 Wild Card |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Against the Buccaneers with a 50 year old Tom Brady |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | He had multiple 12 win seasons in Dallas |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Tomlin never had a losing record |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Why the fuck would we downgrade to this slob |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Our offense is a joke |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | If we do draft a good QB |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | McCarthy with fuck him up like every other QB he touches |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | He turned Dax Prescott into a Tony Romo! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | McCarthy can't run a defense for shit |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | We might as well flush the $123 million |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | we gave TJ Watt right down the shitter |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | We used to be the Steel Curtain |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | But now all we can do hide behind those stupid yellow towels |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Our 2025 defense was barely better |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | than the Ravens with Zach Fucking Orr |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Miles Garret almost had as many sacks as our entire team |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Tomlin could at least put up a winning record with a medicore ass team |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | What the fuck is McCarthy going to do? |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | We are now the Pittsburgh Pirates of football |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Our stadium used to have a cool name |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Heinz field! |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Acrisure sounds like a drug that prevents you from catching HIV. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I don't even want to live anymore. Someone get me an Iron City |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | and cold ass pizza |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | not cooked in the least bit with unmelted cheese |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | like an adult lunchable |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Then put some coleslaw |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | and french fries on it |
