State Farm Headquarters
19 views10/1/2025
Somewhere outside of Atlanta, State Farm’s CEO calls an emergency meeting to put a stop to the sudden spike in claim approvals.
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| 00:00 - 00:03 | Here you see our denial rate.. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Higher than Heritage, |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | More than Liberty Mutual, |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | and still much higher than our allies Allstate |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Nobody mistreats their clients more.. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | What about Frontline? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | They’re terrible too. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My fearless CEO… |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Frontline.. |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Frontline is denying more claims. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Frontline now has more denials |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone out except Kettle, Yogurt, Crepes and Poutine. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | That’s why we have the RLS! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | So contractors can’t use NTS and O&L |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | You told me that this system couldn’t be beat, it was infallible. |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | You said we won’t pay out anymore claims. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | You blithering idiots |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | How could you be so imbecilic? |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | You think contractors won’t fight back? |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Compatible shingles? Repairable shingles? |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My fearless CEO! We ignore them. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Ignore them?! The homeowner reports us to DOI! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My fearless CEO, we need to delay. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Delay? Not if the homeowner emails you! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | What are you thinking? |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | They just go away? |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | They keep on persisting, with more emails |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | At this time with estimates and documentation |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Supporting evidence of legitimate damage. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | And then we have no choice but to pay. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | How will we stay filthy rich then? |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | How are we going to pay for all of our celebrity commercials? |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | How will we pay Mahomes? |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | And when we got Andy Reid’s endorsement |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | I never felt more pride. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Proud of big red. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | And now we can’t afford any more celebrity endorsements. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Now we have to settle for the original Jake with the dumb pants. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I miss when denials were fun |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | To see the pain on your client’s face |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | To hear the frustration in their tone |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It’s OK, I think Allstate is hiring. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | What’s next for you all? |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | You’ll tell me you are becoming independent adjusters? |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Ladder Assists? |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | No more staff adjusters.. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Remember when nobody knew that our policies required matching colors? |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Now smart contractors ruin it. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Maybe this is the end.. |