| 00:00 - 00:03 | We're going to bomb all the Houthis |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | if they so much as |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | fire a spitball. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Any attack on ships in the Red Sea |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | or missiles over Israel... |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Wait... Israel? ... |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | What if we... let those missiles through? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Well, you see... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Uh, the Jews, uh... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | You have to consider the optics. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | If word got out of our group chat... Putin wou-- I mean, our donors would, uh... |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Why would word get out? ... Is Elon on the chat?? ... Someone check his twitter! |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | I better not find out it's a facebook group! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | And why wasn't I invited to this chat?! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Who's in charge of the list?! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Who's the group admin?! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I can't believe I have to |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | explain cybersecurity to anyone. |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | What about privacy! ... Zuck! And BigBallz at Doge? |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | We can't let this get out. Who's in that group? |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | It was Tulsi! And Petey H! |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | You shut your mouth about beautiful Tulsi, Vance! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But Waltz, Marco - *mistress susie* - said to use Signal! |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Use your heads! I want a roll call. You can't even tell me who's in the chat! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Ratcliffe? Witkoff? Bessent? McCormack? |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Who the heck are these people? ... KENT???? |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Beautiful Tulsi I know... Little Marco... Dewey Petey H... *SuSiE* |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | But... "JGoldberg"? ..."JGoldblum"? ..."MelonMusc"? |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Are these real people or fake names? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Who *didn't* you invite, other than me?! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | It's... Why didn't you have that chat in person??? |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Oh, yah, because some of you were in... RUSSIA! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I feel I'm going mad. This is insanity. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Ahh, right, "JGoldberg"! From The Atlantic!! |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | A journalist! A criminal! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | And... "MelonMusc"? |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Is that Elon hiding under more fake profiles? Or his buddy, BigBallz? |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | AOC is going to roast me alive. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I suppose The Atlantic is going to write this up now. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | I bet Hillary is laughing. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | They're all *LAUGHING*. We'll have to sue all of them. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | But not Putin. He loves us! He'd never laugh. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | We need to find a way |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | to pin this on trans people. |
| 03:25 - 03:27 | And other antisemites who hate Tesla. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | A man, a plan, a canal, woman, camera, crypto, woke. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | They're all weirdos. Perverts. Terrorists. ... And that's just Congressional Texans! |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | We'll have to say we're protecting women and sexy schoolgirls. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Maybe Doctor Strange can make this go away, erase everyone's messages. |
