| 00:00 - 00:05 | Let me tell you about my wife |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | So, I caught her cheating |
| 00:07 - 00:10 | She was with several men |
| 00:11 - 00:16 | She said that I made her do it |
| 00:17 - 00:21 | And that I should apologize |
| 00:21 - 00:24 | true |
| 00:29 - 00:31 | true |
| 00:31 - 00:34 | She said that she was a good woman |
| 00:38 - 00:40 | Good |
| 00:41 - 00:47 | They would hug and kiss |
| 00:47 - 00:50 | And talk about how they would be |
| 00:50 - 00:56 | Together one day |
| 00:58 - 00:59 | One said he'd leave his wife |
| 00:59 - 01:01 | Leave his wife |
| 01:04 - 01:06 | Leave his kids |
| 01:06 - 01:08 | Leave his dogs |
| 01:13 - 01:14 | She's a sucker |
| 01:14 - 01:16 | She's a dumb Hoe |
| 01:16 - 01:20 | Because she believed them |
| 01:21 - 01:27 | One guy said he was a ninja |
| 01:35 - 01:36 | He carried her purse |
| 01:36 - 01:39 | And said how do I look |
| 01:41 - 01:44 | Seriously, I am in a lot of pain over this |
| 01:44 - 01:47 | I might even shave and |
| 01:47 - 01:49 | give her a loan |
| 01:50 - 01:53 | Changed my mind |
| 01:54 - 01:56 | I can't keep |
| 01:56 - 01:58 | a straight face |
| 01:58 - 02:02 | Maybe I'll take her on a vacation |
| 02:05 - 02:07 | Maybe to Maui |
| 02:10 - 02:11 | Have a martini |
| 02:11 - 02:13 | martini |
| 02:15 - 02:17 | We could renew our vows |
| 02:17 - 02:20 | And try another twelve years |
| 02:21 - 02:28 | Sell our house and buy a new one |
| 02:29 - 02:30 | Move her mom in |
| 02:30 - 02:32 | And move her mom in |
| 02:36 - 02:39 | Changed my mind |
| 02:40 - 02:42 | She is stupid |
| 02:50 - 02:55 | I would rather wrestle a grizzly bear |
| 02:56 - 02:58 | What will you do |
| 02:58 - 03:04 | Eat what I want, sleep when I want |
| 03:04 - 03:09 | Watch what I want, do what I want |
| 03:09 - 03:11 | I will be so so sad |
| 03:16 - 03:20 | Just kidding |
| 03:23 - 03:26 | I am happy without her |
| 03:31 - 03:36 | She can enjoy her ninja with a purse |
