| 00:00 - 00:03 | SMOKERS ARE STILL SMOKING IN THESE GARDENS |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | MEXICO AND OTHERS ARE TAKING THE PISS |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | PEOPLE ARE COUGHING EVERYWHERE |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | LANDLORDS HAVE BEEN INFORMED |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | MODS HAVE BEEN DESPATCHED |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | I WANT THE GARDEN SURROUNDED |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | ARREST ANYONE WHO SMELLS FUNNY |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | IT'S A BLUEMOON MEET UP |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | THEY ALL SMELL FUNNY |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | SMOKERS ARE COMPLAINING ABOUT THEIR SMELL |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | THE SNIFFER DOGS ARE GAGGING |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | ALL THE VAPERS FUCK OFF OUT THE ROOM NOW |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | FIRST IT WAS THE SPIRALS AT HALF TIME |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | NOW IT'S THE FUCKING PUB GARDENS |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | WHERE'S THIS CAPTAIN COATIGAN? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | ALL MOUTH NO FUCKING ACTION |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | HE SAID HE'D CONVINCE THE CUNTS |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I HEARD HE'S TOO SCARED OF THE SMOKE TO GO IN |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | THE MODS LIVING IT UP WITH THE CAPSTANS |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | LIKE THEY OWN THE PLACE |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | ONE OF THE MODS IS AN AMERICAN NOW |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | IS IT THAT FUCKER WHO BANGS ON ABOUT CATCHPHRASE? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | IT WAS EGGHEADS HE NEVER MENTIONS IT |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF IT'S CRACKERFUCKIN' JACK |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | TELL COATIGAN TO DISPERSE THEM |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | AND ARREST THAT MOUTHY MEXICAN BASTARD |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | GOING AGAINST OBERSTURMFUHRER STARMERS ORDERS CAN'T BE TOLERATED |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | HE'S ONLY BEEN IN CHARGE A FORTNIGHT |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | PEOPLE CHOKING TO DEATH IN PUBS |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | PENSIONERS FREEZING BURNING FURNITURE TO STAY ALIVE |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | VOTERS ARE GOING TO THINK HE'S A CUNT |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | THE FRENCH HAVE PHONED THE HEALTH AND SAFETY |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | THE SMELL OF WOODBINES IS PUTTING THEM OFF THEIR SNAILS |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I WANT THIS STOPPED BEFORE THE EUROPEAN CAMPAIGN |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | THOSE BASTARDS OUTSIDE THE TOILETS TOO |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | CATCH THEM AND INTER THEM |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | USE DIBLEY AND SLINGBACK TO INFORM |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | THEY'D SELL THEIR FAMILY FOR AN ARSENAL TICKET |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | EVEN A BRENTFORD TICKET AT A FUCKING PUSH |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | WE HAVE TAXED THE CIGGIES |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | HIDDEN THEM IN BIG CUPBOARDS SO THEY CAN'T REACH |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | YOU STINK LIKE HALF AN OUNCE OF HALF SHAG |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | IF WE LOSE THE BEER GARDEN |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | NEXT IT WILL BE POLAND |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | WE WILL BE THE LAUGHING STOCK |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | WHILE 555 SMOKE STILL HANGS OVER THE BEER GARDEN |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | WE'RE FUCKED...UNDONE BY A BLUEMOON MEET UP |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | PRO SMOKING FUCKERS AND SPIRAL PUFFERS |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | BRINGING DOWN THE TOOLMAKERS SON |
