| 00:00 - 00:03 | Enrolment figures are in for all campuses. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Starting with North Sydney |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | We are down here and at Strathfield |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We are growing in Blacktown |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | But off a very low base |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | What about the other states? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Victoria, Queensland, ACT? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Vice-Chancellor |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | The Provost... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | The Provost says we're down at all of them |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | We're losing numbers everywhere |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone out except Weller, Ramsay, Casamento and Khan |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | How can enrolments be down? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Don't they know about Vision 2033? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | It is innovative, agile and collaborative |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | I sent out an email calling it impactful |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Were all those redundancies for nothing? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | This is Dianoia all over again |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Next you'll tell me the budget is still in deficit |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Which is all Greg Craven's fault |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Vice-Chancellor, Greg left 3 years ago... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Well it's certainly not my fault, you traitor |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Vice-Chancellor, they were your decisions |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | You're the one who runs the place, Weller |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | You've been here 11 years |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | I really just wanted the Monash job |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | When Gardner got the Governor job |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | I applied to Monash but I wasn't even shortlisted |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | They appointed some internal nobody instead |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Now I'm stuck at this crappy university, captaining a sinking ship |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Where no-one recognises my genius |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And everyone expects me to take responsibility |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I just want a quiet life |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Giving speeches and having photo ops with politicians |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Without all this budget stuff |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | It's all your fault |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | None of you are having your contracts renewed |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | And, Weller, you can clear out your desk today |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | You're all as bad as the bishops |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | They've had it in for me since day one |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | And that Dean of Law appointment... |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | She got a payout, she'll be fine |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I'm starting to think I won't be here by 2033 |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | But at least I get paid $1 million a year |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I'll survive |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | But all of you except Khan are sacked |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I'm lucky John Fahey's not still around |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Or George Pell, who wouldn't stand for all this |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I'd be out on my arse |
