| 00:00 - 00:03 | Woo is determined to be #fitby50. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | He walks around Dizney weekly |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | and he likes to air fry vegetables. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | He looks bloated most days, |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | although he doesn't drink soda. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | But he's working out in his garage, right? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Cardio, strength training.... |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Not exactly. |
| 00:27 - 00:30 | He does frolic with Giggles... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | when he flies her in. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | But that's not very often. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | All of those who stand with Blackbeard, please leave. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | I've had it with that trollop! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Why do you Woovians keep enabling him? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | He asks to be held accountable, |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | yet he stuffs his face with McRibs! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | And you morons keep watching him! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | And that damn Dizney obsession! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | It's a fucking animated mouse, |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | with no discernable personality! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | They do have Figment. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | And what the fuck is Figment? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Woo's best friend. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | That's the problem. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | He has no real friends. |
| 01:55 - 01:57 | And he's going to be fitted for a girdle by 50 |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | if he keeps up his lazy Woopeating ways! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | He's lost his damn mind, |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | and jerks off thinking about a Mickey power pole! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Forget being fit, |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Woo will be dead by 50! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And who will be there to coddle Jay the boy? |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Certainly not Cris the witch. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Without Woo, there's no Tampa Jay. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | And I'm supposed to watch Carpetbagger? |
| 02:40 - 02:42 | Nein. Nein Carpetbagger! |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I can't take another Jenny Penny laugh. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | She's more painful than Giggles. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Damn that Madam the Woo. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | She created this mess. |
| 03:00 - 03:03 | She shouldn't toy with a man-child's heart like that. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | No, don't blame yourself. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | And here we are now. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Hitchcock would not be proud. |
| 03:25 - 03:28 | Our punk rock boy has been reduced |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | to a human garbage disposal. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Woo can't even find joy |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | on a rainy night at Dizneyworld. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Mourn with me, shall you? |
