| 00:00 - 00:03 | This morning we had a prisoner escape |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | He left via the main gate |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Where literally all our guards are |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | He was also dressed as the swedish chef |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | from the muppets and just left under a food lorry |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | hes just a stupid criminal he wont get far |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | inform the police it wont be a problem |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | sir |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Signaller |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Signaller Khalife is trained in the art of SERE |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | He's carried out a 1 hour video lesson on SERE |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone out except smudge, tam and gibbo |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Signaller khalife is trained in the art of SERE |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | He was trained at fucking Blandford |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | What the fuck is this scally doing to us |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | This is a nightmare |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | The RMP didnt lose him and we did |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | We were already below traffic wardens |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | we have less authority than a lolly pop man |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | We literally have to keep people inside walls |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | sir his barb scores were off the charts |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | BARB scores are there to make GCSEs irrelevant |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir you should see his BFT times |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | no weight on flat ground doesnt count |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | He licks radio ports for a living |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | The public are gonna rip us apart |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | rip us apart like wet tissue |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | and you will likely enjoy it |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | i don't know why i ever left my job at KFC |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | at least they didnt let the chickens escape |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | i can feel my pension evaporating |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | i will always be "that bloke" who got outsmarted by a craphat |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | for once i just wanted some respect |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | like i was competent |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | i could retire and be proud |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | ffs |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | who would have guessed prisoners wanted out of here |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | i've always been nice to them |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | i let them have taco Tuesdays |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | and Friday blowouts for all good that did |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | even lent them my ratchet straps |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | its okay i'm sure you'll get the strap back |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | we have to save face |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | tell the press hes special ops |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | hereford |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | this could get any worse |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | if it was anyone else i could live with myself |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | but a signaller |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | i make myself sick |
