| 00:00 - 00:03 | Gentlemen, I’ve got some news to share |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | On the results of Sizzlers |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | campaign trail in Surrey Hills |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Early polling is in and the news isn’t good |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Sizzlers not as popular as we thought in Surrey Hills |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | We’ll just organise another print run on the posters |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | And maybe spam the OLWPP WhatsApp group with it again |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My leader…. |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Sizzler… |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Sizzler hasn’t received a single vote yet |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | He’s going to lose the election |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Can everyone who hates Patrick Cripps leave the room |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | How in holy Hindenburg has this happened? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I’ve spent a fortune on the campaign team |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Printed posters, kissed babies |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Organised media presentations |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Hell I even organised custom |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Over the shoulder jumpers for everyone |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | He’s won more money than any other punter |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | He’s run some awesome socials |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, he hasn’t shown up to half of them |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | He’s a St Kevin’s alumni for a Christ sake, surely he has connections |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, St Kevin’s is just full of Catholic pedos |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Yes the same ones that have funded this campaign! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | And Jim Anderson |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | How in Hasselhoff hell is he leading the polls? |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | His meme game is terrible and he goes for a team of potatoes |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Clearly pretending he doesn’t want it when he does |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | And fucking Patto has more votes |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | a fucking sheep shagging former child actor |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | We can’t have a fucking Kiwi for president surely |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Even that cock smoker Rowe is looking more likely |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | What happened to the good old days? |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Men like Gooch, Kim Jong, Gazz even that halfwit daggers |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Sizzler deserves to be among the greats |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | And the news keeps coming |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I’m even hearing whispers around Cashout Conroy |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | A fucking second ginger president in 3 years |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | A spineless cashout that actually thinks he’s helping |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Speaking of spineless - charts show even Bremner has more votes |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Not even the mankini photos could stop him |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It’s ok dear, I too remember how bad they were |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Maybe we should put Sizzler in a Mankini |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | He’d probably do a better job of filling it out |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Yes or no? |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Jumper round the neck |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Lets just rig the voting like the last few yrs, theres no other way that knob Feen would have got in |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | God damn it he is a knob |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Tell Glassy to make it happen |
