Hitler Find Out Ultraman Is Alive
48 views6/8/2023
After Nazi Zetton had seemingly killed Ultraman, right before he was destroyed, Hitler felt secure in his plans for universal domination. However...
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| 00:00 - 00:03 | Mazinger Z is assaulting our forces in Heisinberg, |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Jet Jaguar is flying in from Frankfurt, |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Godzilla and King Kong are jointly destroying Auschwitz, |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | And the Americans are air-dropping Jaegers outside the Great Berlin Wall |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | But we have Dr Hell's Mecha Beasts patrolling our borders |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | We also have Gigan and Ghidorah |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | reinforcing our defenses |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Supreme Leader, |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | we uh... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | We just learned Ultraman is alive |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Our spy satellites saw him leaving M78 recently |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | If you were not part of project "Operation Ultra", leave now. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | You told me he was DEAD! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | YOU ALL LOOKED ME IN THE EYES AND TOLD ME HE WAS DEAD!!!! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Do you dumbass cock-waffles know how much of our stolen Jew gold I sunk into this project!? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | How many Kaiju did we send after that red and silver bastard? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | And how many did he fucking kill?! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | He's killed every fucking Kaiju we sent after him! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Zetton was supposed to be our strongest, |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | and apparently even HE couldn't do the job right! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Supreme Leader, don't forget about Dr Hell's Mecha Beasts! |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | You fool! He'll tear their super steel alloy bodies apart like tissue paper! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | What about Gigan and Ghidorah?! |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Ultraman can withstand fucking nuclear bombs exploding in his face! He'd rip them apart! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | YOU FUCKED UP!!! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | He's literally the Japanese Ubermensch, |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | we were basing our super soldiers off of him for that reason! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | He even makes Superman look like a one trick pony! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | His day job is fighting monsters and aliens,OF COURSE sending a Kaiju after him wouldn't kill him! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | What were you idiots doing when you came up with "Operation Ultra"?! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Oh, but of course I greenlit the project! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | You all fucking lied and cheated me, LIKE STALIN!!! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I tried to negotiate with the Land of Light |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | but they didn't like my brand of socialism. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | They felt I was too oppressing to the masses. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | And why? |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Because I dared to unify the universe under my Aryan Empire! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | And so they sent Ultraman in a super jet, from a billion miles away from a distant planet land! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | You'd think he couldn't do much in three minutes. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | But apparently he's found a way to SURPASS three minutes! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Imagine, an Ultraman lasting longer than three minutes! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's ok, the three-minute rule isn't closely followed anyway |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | He was my favorite superhero, once |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Far superior to anyone from Marvel or DC |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | To your superheroes |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Even Marvel made a comic off of him |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I mean, it's not great, but it has potential, |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | much superior to modern Captain Marvel, anyway |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | One can only hope |