Rory's Rage

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122 views6/8/2023
Rory learns of the final deal just before the announcement Tuesday morning.

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00:00 - 00:03Just heard from Jimmy
00:04 - 00:05Said to turn on CNBC
00:05 - 00:07Sounds like Jay is on with Yasir
00:08 - 00:12They're announcing the PIF investment today
00:12 - 00:15Calling it a framework agreement with no actual details
00:17 - 00:19Phil texted me a photo of his ass
00:19 - 00:21I assumed it was for one of Amy's friends
00:24 - 00:26Um, Rory
00:27 - 00:28It's, uh...
00:31 - 00:33being spun as a PGA-LIV *merger*
00:34 - 00:36Phil and Bryson are coming back
00:53 - 00:58I need all of the Full Swing producers, cameras, and executive producers to clear the room
01:13 - 01:15I look like a right proper clown
01:15 - 01:17It's that goddamn "Fargiveness" ad all over again
01:18 - 01:23They had me hang out with Pat Cantlay, for christsakes. And all I did for these mules,
01:24 - 01:28You think I can tell Harish English from Hudson Swafford?
01:29 - 01:31And what the hell is a Cody Gribble?
01:31 - 01:34Phil should have been in federal prison with Billy Walters
01:34 - 01:37And now he's declaring himself a billionaire on twitter
01:37 - 01:40I should buy his ass and ship him to Riyadh
01:40 - 01:42But Jay's now going to be their boss
01:42 - 01:46Facts don't matter to these clueless chucklefucks
01:46 - 01:48Surely you'll get made whole
01:48 - 01:52This is about Jay becoming the goddamned king of golf
01:53 - 01:54He had one job
01:56 - 01:57We kept him around as the pain sponge
01:57 - 02:00And he hid in his office for years
02:00 - 02:03He was paid to make the lawsuits go away
02:04 - 02:08He could have talked to Andy or Yasir back at the beginning
02:08 - 02:13He thinks he's Logan Roy but he's a poor man's Wambsgans at best
02:14 - 02:16He strung me up like a peking duck
02:17 - 02:21If he thinks he survives this, I'll make him wish he invested in Golf Pass.
02:27 - 02:29We were so close before Augusta
02:30 - 02:34Greg was silent...I could feel it in my bones
02:34 - 02:36Then Brooks had to go and wake up
02:41 - 02:42Hovland could've saved us
02:43 - 02:47And now Patrick Reed's cheating ass is coming back with his unhinged wife
02:48 - 02:53Talor Gooch and Pat Perez strutting around as if they didn't fail upwards
02:54 - 02:56Now I'm doing media for another nine months
02:56 - 02:59I'm done defending these mules, I'll tell you that
03:00 - 03:02It's Rory time and I'm getting what's mine
03:04 - 03:07It'll be ok...just play better, Grayson
03:14 - 03:16I actually kinda like Yasir
03:19 - 03:23Even though I thought he was Kumail Nanjiani last year in Kauai
03:25 - 03:26Am I a hypocrite?
03:31 - 03:33I suppose it doesn't matter
03:40 - 03:46Tiger's not walking through that door and nobody really liked the simulator idea
03:46 - 03:49In the end, we're left with the words of Method Man
03:53 - 03:56Cash Rules Everything Around Me