| 00:00 - 00:03 | After careful deliberation |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | the executive team has decided |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | to move the new office here. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | The new office will now be 15 minutes from Subway |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and will be even further away from Raleigh Times. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | This doesn't matter. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | I'm sure my new desk will be nicer. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Uhhh. |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | You |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | You won't have your own desk. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | All seats are unassigned. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone who is excited about the move, get out. Now. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | How could they do this? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Unassigned seats? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | They'd rather me use the same greasy keyboard that everyone else uses! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | I will not stand for this! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | This is a complete disgrace! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | They have no idea what they're doing. |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Everytime I sit down I'm going to hear |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | someone running their mouth about their weekend! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But there will be white noise machines |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | White noise? Who gives a shit? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But this is the future! |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | You fool. We are so fucked. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | It's all over. |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | First Fabian leaves us |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | then Edgar leaves us |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | and now my desk is gone. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | What's next for me then? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | They'll come for my parking space. Then my entire life will be different. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | They'll take everything from me. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | I don't care about collaboration, and neither do they! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | And they have these "phone booths" |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | for meetings and calls. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | They say this is futurisitic |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | But it's all a sham. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I don't wanna collaborate with anybody. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I just wanna do my work and go home. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | We don't need sofas. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | We don't standing desks. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | There'll only be one microwave! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | They'll get another microwave. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | This will burn and fail. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | We will just have to watch it happen. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Whatever. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | It is what it is. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I've heard the legislative cafeteria is good. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Even if it's across the street. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | At least we can keep our monitors. |
