Heineken
Adolf Hitler reacts to Fosters going from 4.0% to 3.7% in the Denton Holme club
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| 00:00 - 00:03 | We have placed and order with the brewery |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | the shipment has been despatched |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | leaving Berlin via lorry |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | express delivery |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | it will be here on Wednesday, Thursday latest |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Ah yes, the Fosters, John Smiths and Strongbow |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | we will enjoy that sweet 4.0% Fosters before we know it |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sir |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | the Fosters... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | there has been a change in the brewing process |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | the ABV of Fosters is now 3.7% |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Drinkers of Strongbow, John Smiths and Morreti, leave the room |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | how can I sell this 3.7% piss water? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Fosters should always be 4.0% |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | I will counteract this mess |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | even if it means another World War |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I will scorch the earth until this is resolved |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | it's already went up 39p |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | and now they're taking 0.3% from us |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | we could consider an alternative to Fosters such as... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | An alternative? What could be better than Fosters lager? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, may I suggest Maltsmiths lager? |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Maltsmiths lager in the club? Pass off! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | it's too gay! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | We've already dropped Guiness |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | and moved to Matthew Clark for Tennents |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | if we swap Fosters for Maltsmiths |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | we might as well stick up a sign outside saying fucking Brewdog |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Strongbow 4.5 to Thatchers Gold 4.6 with no price increase |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | no price increase |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | ultimately we may need to remove Moretti |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | the bad news for Smiths drinkers |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | because it is so popular |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | we can't remove it |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | it will have to go up again by 40p |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Maltsmith lager is for hipsters |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | we might aswell get rid of the snooker table in favour of board games |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I can imagine it now |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Scrabble tournament on a Sunday |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Mouse Trap getting set up in the corner |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Mouse Trap's actually a good game |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | If we keep fosters it has to go up 40p |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | and we can add the 0.3% ourselves |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | in other news |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | we have Greene King to talk to |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | they have a great manager who is willing to help, Roy Knox is his name |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Knox agrees Maltsmiths is for puffs |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | go get the guitar |