| 00:00 - 00:03 | The riots are growing larger. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | We're seeing COVID-19 hotspots |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | here...here...and here. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Your approval rating is in single digits. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | And we've spotted the Baby Trump balloon in a few places. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | I don't understand this. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Too many words. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | President Trump... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | we're trying... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | ...we're trying to get you some KFC. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | But they're out of popcorn chicken. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Get me KFC or I call Putin. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | This is all FAKE NEWS! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I'm the most popular president EVER! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I'm getting so mad |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | I'm going to call Obama the N-word in a minute |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | and grab someone by the pussy! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | You're all weak! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | You need to crush the riots with the military |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | while I hide here in my bunker! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | You can't just hole up in here... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I'll just call in to Hannity! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mr. Trump, stop listening to Steven Miller. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | When the looting starts... |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | the shooting starts! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | That was so fucking clever |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | and it rhymed. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Then the fake news attributed it to George Wallace! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I'm getting my ass handed to me by Jim Acosta |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Even Twitter is turning against me. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | What the fuck did I pay all those bots for? |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And Rudy Giuliani keeps butt dialing me at all hours! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I don't want to be President. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Can't I just go back? Go back... |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | to stealing from cancer charities? |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Fuck it. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I'm fleeing to Moscow where I can get a hooker! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Putin will let me do Adderall all day and night |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | You're all weak losers. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | I'm making up mean nicknames for you |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | And printing them on campaign t-shirts! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's ok. He'll overdose soon. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I think I just shit my Depends. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | And Jared won't even clean me up anymore. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Who will? |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Who will change my diaper? |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I'm the laughingstock of the entire world |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | stuck in a bunker. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Covfefe. |
