| 00:00 - 00:03 | Based on our recent losses... |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Judges now outnumber ADAs 2:1. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | We lose two employees each month. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | The entire city is now North Tulsa. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Thats fine. Just promote up some of our |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | talented and experienced General Felony attorneys. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Steve, there are no... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | There are no experienced AND talented ADAs left. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone with three or less trial victories leave now! |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What do you mean we are out of ADAs?! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I sent out an email last month reminding them how great I am! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I let them bring their food to my house! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | They ask for things like money and vacations. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Whats next? Free parking? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I hired all the oldest investigators to tell them how to do their job |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | But no. They expect me to be in the courthouse to hear their nonstop bitching. |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Its always something with them. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Steve, there is nobody left. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Fine! Hire that Asian guy back. |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Steve, he ran against you... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Call everybody you know who is nearing retirement and needs a job! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Give them double the last guy! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Money isnt an issue if they are old enough! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Hire interns too! We have won murder trials with interns for free! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I dont need talent to stay elected! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Its so tiring explaining how important I am... |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Erik, this is your problem to fix. Why am I even here!?!? |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I dont have bills. Dont they see that a prosecutor doesnt need an income? |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | My house is enormous. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Fine. They need more community service presentations. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Better yet, make them work harder in Karpel! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Make them log their timesheets in Karpel daily!!! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | We will make them request weekends off! |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | We can pay them in Karpel dollars! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Its ok. We dont need real money. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Its going to be fine because at least none of you have applied to other jobs. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | How lucky you are to be here. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | So lucky. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | None of you would ever leave this wonderful leadership... |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Steve K for DA |
