| 00:00 - 00:03 | So it should be straight forward. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Programmatic buying is easy |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | I mean it's been around for years |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | 1 in 2 digital dollars is spent that way |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and Paul Gubbins has posted 17,000 articles on the subject |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Good. Everyone understands it all then. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | we can probably stop using the term 'programmatic' all together |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | It's just |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Well it's not quite that simple |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | No one knows what the fuck they're doing |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | People still use 'programmatic' as a noun |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Leave the room if you don't know the difference between a DSP and a Spanish omelette |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the fuck do you mean? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Are you telling me all those panels i sat on meant nothing? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I thought we'd at least settled on a single definition of 'programmatic' |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | But no - we can't even do that. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Someone the other day even asked me |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | "Can I buy programmatic?" |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | I was like 'what the fuck does that even mean?' |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Now we have to start explaining SPO and open RTB 2.5 too? |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Maybe all the acronyms are the problem |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Bollocks! Acronyms make everything better! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But they're confusing people - we can't even define 'PMP' |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Then make another 'programmatic glossary' |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | And share the Google doc to it |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Everyone loves reading Google docs about programmatic stuff |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | and record all the training sessions too |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | because people love to rewatch training sessions they've sat in |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | In fact - cancel all client and partner lunches |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | until everyone's completed a certification in 'Programmatic 101' |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | No more Hawksmoor fillet steaks for you until you've completed the web learning |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Make the questions multiple choice though - people need to be able to complete it whilst listening to a 'friday feeling' Spotify playlist |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Now someone invite me to a partner drinks |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | 'cos having to think about all this shit stresses me the fuck out |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | I just want it all to be easy - like in that IAB video |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | But no of course not |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | It's like constantly showing the lumscape didn't help anyone |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | What more can I do than show a slide with every ad tech vendor on it? |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I think maybe we should just give it all up |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Go back to fucking IO buying |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | and IASH accreditation |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | We'd better get the fax machine out |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I guess we made a rod for our own back |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Programmatic buying is now a victim of it's own accountability |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Well fuck the DSP |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Call JCDecaux |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | And buy the digital billboard on Piccadilly |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | It's easier than learning about 'programmatic' |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Now even I'm using it as a noun... |
