00:01 - 00:04Sir,The Chattajack Taper begins this week
00:04 - 00:07Riding Bumps says your training is wrong and you will fail exactly HERE
00:08 - 00:12Intelligence has confirmed that 1 to 7 ft swells will be arriving with a hell flurry of wind far greater then any race in history.
00:13 - 00:16And a couple redneck banjo sounds have been confirmed HERE
00:18 - 00:22No swell, Wind, Hippies, or Rednecks shall stop me from finishing.
00:24 - 00:28Sir..... The Air
00:31 - 00:36The air is said to be in the lower 50s you cannot go on.
00:52 - 01:00You have 2 choices... Head to the gas chamber now, or race with me
01:13 - 01:18I wash my balls with ice water, i ride 30 ft swells with Laird, It is Down Stream you bastards!
01:20 - 01:25And HOW MANY MORE MONTHS before my GLADIATOR FIN ARRIVES!
01:30 - 01:35I will swim the fucking course to shut you up
01:36 - 01:40My Hammer gel has arrived and i am drinking it by the quart YOU WILL SEE
01:41 - 01:43Sir i told you to not drink the whole bottle
01:43 - 01:47I will do a 25 mile paddle 4 days before FUCK you and FUCK YOUR TAPER
01:47 - 01:49Sir Capital Sup says YOU MUST train to win
01:49 - 01:55What the hell do they know besides lifting weights and riding a one wheel all god damn day
01:56 - 02:04I will piss on my board like Basil Tydings it will add all the speed i need. YOU WILL SEE You will see Bryan Barton
02:05 - 02:10I will cut my paddle in half, DRILL holes in it, And Piss all over it IT WILL WORK
02:10 - 02:17I will have Steve Dullack by the Balls!! His Heart Will Be CRUSHED
02:17 - 02:23Nick Bollinger, Jeremy Whitted, NOBODY WILL STOP ME
02:28 - 02:35My garmin gps has higly technical features. It measures the beat of my heart. THE Beat will carry me to the end
02:41 - 02:47And i will take 4 doses of pre workout and be MORE JACKED UP then a kid at Chucky Cheese
02:48 - 03:03This is a MANS Race. I do not even know why they would let women or women like you even think of racing into the dangers of the river.
03:15 - 03:23Speed boats. Floating Cabins A fork in the river I will meet my destiny
03:25 - 03:27MoonShine in my belly
03:33 - 03:36I will drink plenty
03:41 - 03:46I will be wasted. And it will get me threw even if my medicinal herb wears off at the end
03:53 - 03:55 I WILL WIN