| 00:01 - 00:04 | Sir,The Chattajack Taper begins this week |
| 00:04 - 00:07 | Riding Bumps says your training is wrong and you will fail exactly HERE |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Intelligence has confirmed that 1 to 7 ft swells will be arriving with a hell flurry of wind far greater then any race in history. |
| 00:13 - 00:16 | And a couple redneck banjo sounds have been confirmed HERE |
| 00:18 - 00:22 | No swell, Wind, Hippies, or Rednecks shall stop me from finishing. |
| 00:24 - 00:28 | Sir..... The Air |
| 00:31 - 00:36 | The air is said to be in the lower 50s you cannot go on. |
| 00:52 - 01:00 | You have 2 choices... Head to the gas chamber now, or race with me |
| 01:13 - 01:18 | I wash my balls with ice water, i ride 30 ft swells with Laird, It is Down Stream you bastards! |
| 01:20 - 01:25 | And HOW MANY MORE MONTHS before my GLADIATOR FIN ARRIVES! |
| 01:30 - 01:35 | I will swim the fucking course to shut you up |
| 01:36 - 01:40 | My Hammer gel has arrived and i am drinking it by the quart YOU WILL SEE |
| 01:41 - 01:43 | Sir i told you to not drink the whole bottle |
| 01:43 - 01:47 | I will do a 25 mile paddle 4 days before FUCK you and FUCK YOUR TAPER |
| 01:47 - 01:49 | Sir Capital Sup says YOU MUST train to win |
| 01:49 - 01:55 | What the hell do they know besides lifting weights and riding a one wheel all god damn day |
| 01:56 - 02:04 | I will piss on my board like Basil Tydings it will add all the speed i need. YOU WILL SEE You will see Bryan Barton |
| 02:05 - 02:10 | I will cut my paddle in half, DRILL holes in it, And Piss all over it IT WILL WORK |
| 02:10 - 02:17 | I will have Steve Dullack by the Balls!! His Heart Will Be CRUSHED |
| 02:17 - 02:23 | Nick Bollinger, Jeremy Whitted, NOBODY WILL STOP ME |
| 02:28 - 02:35 | My garmin gps has higly technical features. It measures the beat of my heart. THE Beat will carry me to the end |
| 02:41 - 02:47 | And i will take 4 doses of pre workout and be MORE JACKED UP then a kid at Chucky Cheese |
| 02:48 - 03:03 | This is a MANS Race. I do not even know why they would let women or women like you even think of racing into the dangers of the river. |
| 03:15 - 03:23 | Speed boats. Floating Cabins A fork in the river I will meet my destiny |
| 03:25 - 03:27 | MoonShine in my belly |
| 03:33 - 03:36 | I will drink plenty |
| 03:41 - 03:46 | I will be wasted. And it will get me threw even if my medicinal herb wears off at the end |
| 03:53 - 03:55 | I WILL WIN |
